Do you have a lot of secrets?
How do you remember your secrets?
If you've ever had one of those moments when a you heard a secret fly right out of your mouth before you could stop it (meaning that suddenly it wasn't really a secret anymore) you know that secrets need care. They need to be managed. Revealing them can be awkward.
That's why I rarely promise a secret. I'll stay curious about why it should be a secret before I even know what it is. Why would it be detrimental for someone else to know? What is the motivation behind keeping anyone uninformed.
Sometimes the reasons are valid. We do need some secrets. But that is much more rarely than we probably think.
Secrets do not build trust.
Secrets create anxiety and hidden agendas. Secrets build walls in the middle of our bridges to understanding. And, most importantly, secrets are almost always eventually revealed.
If you know that the truth will always emerge, when do you want that to happen? While you still have trust and understanding, or after that is broken?
-- Douglas Brent Smith