High Performance Leadership

  How many times a year do you think you've been cheated? A dollar here, a dollar there...a promise or two down the road...we so often tell little lies and cheat just a little to try to get what we want. But as any cheater knows, anything obtained by cheating is temporary at best. People find out, and when they do, the pay-back far exceeds the benefit. When we cheat, other people are harmed of course, but worse perhaps is that we are also harmed. Our character, our word, our integrity, our peace of mind are all compromised by cutting corners or telling "innocent" lies. There are no innocent lies. When we cheat others, we cheat ourselves more. No more cheating. We're better than that. -- doug smith

  Do liars frustrate you? They absolutely aggravate me. Especially since they usually KNOW they are lying, and often KNOW that you KNOW they are lying, and still they lie. It's nonsense. You can't stop a liar from lying, but you don't have to play their game. -- doug smith

Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves.  The answer is so easy that every time I ask a group of people at a workshop or webinar it's the first thing they say. We lie to ourselves the most.  "I'm not good enough...fast enough...young enough...good-looking enough...smart enough..." Nonsense. You are enough. We are enough.  So, why lie to ourselves? We're so good at it that we really do fool ourselves, sometimes into immobility. That's not fun. Tell the truth. Start with yourself. Stop lying to yourself first. Once you see how much better that is, it will be much easier to stop lying to anyone else. -- doug smith

High performance leaders communicate without lying. That's harder than it sounds. So hard, that hardly anyone ever does it. -- doug smith

Everyone will lie to you. The two key questions are: how will you know, and how will you respond? -- doug smith

Can you tell when someone is lying to you? Do you call them on it? Do you stay curious enough to explore what's behind what feels like a lie? How about when you catch yourself stretching the truth or simply leaving out an important detail? You're better than that, right? High performance leaders are better than that. You can handle the truth, AND you can deliver the truth. Consistently, insistently, tell the truth. The adjustment from a lie to the truth may be troubling at first but it's eventually liberating. The truth rules. -- doug smith

I don't put much stock in lies, how about you? Because I never want to be lied to, I work my best to avoid lying to others. Leaders communicate for reasons they believe are important. If the result is important enough, it's far better to rely on telling the truth to get there than in fabricating some fantasy that will eventually be discovered. The truth always rises to the top anyway, why not start there? Communicating for results takes an investment in the truth. -- doug smith

Lies. Half-truths. Broken promises. Deceit. Distorting the truth. Hiding the truth. Secrets. We all lie, but we don't all have to lie. We can choose the truth. We can be polite, respectful, kind, and still tell the truth. Every lie breaks a promise. Tell the truth. -- doug smith

Why do we lie? That's a compelling question worth exploring. I once read that on average we tell about 26 lies a day. That's a lot of lying. But as leaders, don't we rely on our people to tell the truth? Aren't they (and our customers, and our families!) relying on US to tell the truth? What if it's not exactly our fault? What if we can dramatically reverse the amount of lies we tell by adding a bit of mindfulness? I like this video. It involves behavioral science and while it would be nice to have even more research on this, I do find the evidence compelling that very often we lie unconsciously. Watch the video and see what you think. Interesting experiment? What opportunities can you think of where you work to wake-up the moral foundation in your people? How can you remind people that you are counting on the truth? High performance leaders must communicate for results. That means finding, and delivering, the truth. How can you hold yourself and othe...

Do you know who we lie to the most? According to don Miguel Ruiz, we tell the most lies to ourselves. This does not surprise people. Lately, I've been asking people in workshops that question and the number one answer, easily, is that we lie the most to ourselves. As Bob Newhart says in the MadTV video that always makes me laugh, "Stop it." Simple, but not easy. We dig in. We want what we want. We cling to who we are (and were) whether or not it propels us into who we could be. Who we could be can wait when we're too stubborn to change. Stop it. Our stubborn tendencies only fool ourselves. Those habits we won't break. Those excuses we repeat. Those self-limiting behaviors and beliefs. Just stop it. I will if you will. -- Doug Smith Here's that Bob Newhart and Mo Collins video.

Are you ready for a challenge that could be tougher than it sounds? Go twenty-four hours without telling any lies. That's right, go with the truth 100%. It's radical. It's dangerous. It's hard to do. Why is it so hard to do? Because we tell little lies all day for a hundred different reasons, some good reasons and some just lazy reasons. We lie to save someone's self-respect by telling them they look great when we can tell that's not true. We lie about what we eat. We lie about what we're thinking when we catch a glimpse of an attractive person while we're standing right next to our spouse. We lie. We lie to protect ourselves. We lie to protect others. We lie so much that often we don't even realize we are lying. That's a weird way to live. We can do better. I'm not talking about speaking so radically that we hurt people's feelings. Whatever we say we should also choose words with respect and usefulness. And as we do, why not pi...

How many lies are acceptable to you? Centered leaders confront all lies as soon as possible. Clarify, validate, ask. A lie left alone only grows worse. The truth may seem flexible but require constant diligence. How else will you know what is true? -- Douglas Brent Smith