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Showing posts from April, 2019

Should You Talk About Your Problem?

You might not solve that problem by talking about it, but what if you did?

Centered problem solvers create dialogue. They listen and share in order to reach mutual understanding. The first step to mutual agreement on the solution to a problem is to understand the problem AND each other.

Got a problem? Talk about it.

-- doug smith

You Matter! Dave said so! by David Spiegel

Here's another guest entry from my friend and fraternity brother, David Spiegel. 

Late yesterday afternoon, as I was finishing my last run of the day, my daughter Becca called me. She was having one of those "I think you need a Snickers" days.
Without rehashing each and everyone one of the multitude of things that were annoying her, suffice it to say she was less than a happy camper.
As she ranted on and on, barking about the challenges of the day, each description ended with her saying "what does it matter?"
She was not questioning the event itself. She was questioning why she bothers to make the choices she does, trying to create the life that she wants. What does it matter if I watch what I eat....the scale doesn't move! What does it matter if I workout as much as I do? The damn scale still doesn't move.
What does it matter that I get blood work done?
The doctor doesn't care to understand my lifestyle. He has pre-formed opinions on how he believ…

Go for the Big No

Do you have trouble saying no? It bothers me sometimes. I want to please people. I want to do what's right. I want to say yes.

But, sometimes the answer has to be no. You just can't do everything. Brian Tracey says "your yes is meaningless until your no means NO."

Absolutely. People will resist. People will commiserate. But sometimes you need a really firm, truly big NO.

To make your "yes" your best yes, make your "no a "hell no."

That means no under any circumstances. No completely. No beyond manipulation. Just plain hell no.

-- doug smith

How to Deal With Change

Who likes change?

At one time or another (and probably MOST of the time) we resist change. It's causing us to do something differently and that is an effort we probably did not ask for. If it's not your idea, change is an aggravation.

I don't like it when my phone decides to upgrade. Every single new release for the past two years has been worse, not better than the previous one. And yet, I have no control over it other than to switch to another phone that will likely offer the same aggravation. My current choice is to get over it and move on.

If I control something, I make the changes that I want (most of the time.) New car? That's up to me. New coffee cup? Ditto. New client? That's in an area of influence, but not control.

That's why the flow chart I've created. Do you control it? Then do that.

Can you influence the change? Then get busy and build more influence.

If you cannot control OR influence a change you still have two choice. You can roll with -- …