You Matter! Dave said so! by David Spiegel

Here's another guest entry from my friend and fraternity brother, David Spiegel.

Late yesterday afternoon, as I was finishing my last run of the day, my daughter Becca called me.

She was having one of those "I think you need a Snickers" days.

Without rehashing each and everyone one of the multitude of things that were annoying her, suffice it to say she was less than a happy camper.

As she ranted on and on, barking about the challenges of the day, each description ended with her saying "what does it matter?"

She was not questioning the event itself. She was questioning why she bothers to make the choices she does, trying to create the life that she wants. What does it matter if I watch what I eat....the scale doesn't move! What does it matter if I workout as much as I do? The damn scale still doesn't move.

What does it matter that I get blood work done?

The doctor doesn't care to understand my lifestyle. He has pre-formed opinions on how he believes we should fuel and care for our bodies. What does it matter that the computer program that supports our business doesn't address our needs? The answer "we're working on it" is a really nice way of saying not our problem!

The bottom line for Becca yesterday was...WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!"

It being the choices she makes for her life.

I didn't seem to have an answer for her in that moment.

As a matter of fact, the challenge to find an answer for her lingered with me all night.

That was until this morning when I received an email from a dear friend and fraternity brother.

He sent a note out to all of us, his band of brothers who have meant so much to him for over 45 years now. It read:

Sorry to have to share bad news brothers. My cancer has spread. Continuing to be positive and will fight this with all medicine can offer. I appreciate all the prayers I can get (or positive thoughts or whatever is appropriate for you) Sharing here because so many of you I have known for so long and truly love as brothers!

What does it matter? Because it does! Because as the mug I gave out for the holidays this year said "You Matter!" (If you did not get a mug from me and want one, let me know!)

Throughout Tom's battle with cancer, I have never once heard him ask "What does it matter?"

It all matters.

We all matter.

The choices we make matter. When it, life and the way we choose to live it, no longer matters, than it's over. We each matter, each and every day.

I'll leave you with this bit of wisdom for the day.

94 year old Clara shared this with me as she nestled in to her seat on the way to the senior center this morning. In response to my query of "how are you today" she replied "Another day and I'm okay....what's wrong with that?"

Clara gets it....she matters!

It all matters!

YOU MATTER!

-- David Spiegel

Comments

Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

New Ideas

New ideas won't break you but they can make you bigger. -- doug smith

Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

What You Need

Use what you've learned to become what you need. -- doug smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

Show Up!

"You've got to be there. Big decisions are being made!" my former boss told me a long time ago. "If your voice is in the room you might be heard..." It was good advice then and it still is. Show up. When there's a goal you're working on and an opportunity appears to advance that goal -- show up. When changes are being made that will affect you -- show up! When it matters to you -- show up. You won't always get what you want by showing up, but you never will if you don't! -- doug smith

The Problem With Compromises

Think about the last time you compromised on something. Whether it was a big compromise or a little compromise, how do you feel about it now? While we often call it "meet in the middle" it seldom does. Compromises are not automatically fair, no matter how implied that fairness is. Someone usually gets more out of a compromise than the person they are "compromising" with. If the low end is you, you don't like it -- and you remember that. If the top end of the compromise is you, you probably forget all about it even though the inequity simmers in the background. Compromises must be constantly revisited because they are inevitably unfair. If you get the chance to balance things out, your relationship will prosper. If you miss that chance, the relationship will suffer. What's your choice? -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership Combination

We can rationalize anything without making it justified. Leaders should always ask: who is this good for other than me? High performance leadership does NOT mean performance at any cost. It means performance that serves a noble cause while also benefiting people. High performance leadership is a combination. Results without relationships are shallow and temporary. Take care of both, and you'll be a high performance leader. -- doug smith

Decide

What do you want? Are you getting what you want? Intention is direction. Decide. And, then go. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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