Do you ever get defensive? How does that feel? For me, I can feel my blood pressure raise just a little. I might start to perspire. I get edgy and look for either confrontation or escape. The problem with that reaction is that I probably don't need it. How about you? When we get defensive it's because something about who we are or what we think feels threatened. We're challenged into a kind of alertness that might serve us well if we're really in danger. But, if we're not really in danger it can get in our way. Defensiveness gets in the way of hearing real feedback. It gets in the way of learning. It puts a wedge between us and another relationship. We can do better. How can we control defensiveness? Here's what works for me: When I feel those flashes of defensiveness, pause. Breathe. Stay curious, rather than defensive. That feeling of defensiveness is a sign that we are in the middle of a learning opportunity. Stay open to what's there, and t
by doug smith
Comments
Post a Comment