High Performance Leadership

I know how it feels to fail to communicate. For too long I would keep my feelings to myself. Too many times my thoughts were secret. All too often my silence would be assumed as agreement when that simply was not true. No more. I've focused on improving, on developing my communication skills, and whenever possible, to help other people with theirs. Because it's so important. In many ways, it's the whole ball game. Fail to communicate and how will you ever get what you want? Fail to communicate and how will you manage to make a positive difference in the world? I've still got a long ways to go. There are still times when that deeper conversation escapes me because the emotions are too strong. Still. We live, we learn, we grow. Better to keep improving than to accept the disconnect. Failing to communicate causes us to miss our goals. It causes our teams to splinter and disintegrate. Failing to communicate drains us of the vitality that living is meant to provide....

I often quote Susan Scott ("Fierce Conversations") who said, "Let silence do the heavy lifting." It's powerfully useful. Those awkward silences are times to think, times to process, times to remain curious. Today I'd like to add this: We rush to fill the silence. We awkwardly walk away. We miss the silent opportunity. It's not a time to hurry, it's a time to remain mindful. Be there. Process. Listen. Silence is too powerful to waste. Use the gift that it brings. -- doug smith

Do you send a lot of messages? I see people who broadcast hundreds of tweets a month. Dozens a day. Sending, sending, sending, I truly wonder if they read anyone else's messages. Are they paying attention? Are they listening? What about your people? Are they listening? A million messages a minute won't matter if they aren't listening. You can teach them how...just, listen. -- doug smith

How much time do you spend preparing your slides for a big presentation? I know, I know. It can take up a lot of time. And I'm not complaining about anyone spending time doing a great job on the slides. There are far too many word-heavy lousy presentations out there. Who needs to sit thru any more of those? The slides are just the beginning, though. No. Let me take that back - they aren't EVEN the beginning. They are just part of the presentation. You know the two biggest parts of the presentation? (Careful, let's get the order, the priority right here...) 1. Your audience 2. You That's it. The two biggest parts of your presentation. Presumably, you have something great to share. Certainly, you are going to edify your team and your constituents. You are an inspiration. But only if there is something between your audience and you. Only if there is a relationship there. That's the there, there. What trust leads to the truth of your relationship? It take...

When was the last time that someone said something to you that triggered a strong emotion? Was that their intention? Sometimes people push our buttons - they find our little insecurities or idiosyncrasies or pain points and push them until we feel an emotional response. That's an opportunity, but it sure doesn't feel like one at the time. Long ago, I would react to those moments with an emotion-triggering response of my own. That'll show 'em. Take that. What do you think of that? The trouble was, that's just trouble. I've never fixed an unhealthy situation with an unhealthy behavior. What I've learned is, to breathe. Take a big breath. Give my response about five seconds before letting it come out. By doing that, I create a much better response. We don't choose how people communicate with us - but we do choose how to respond. I'm working at responding positively every time. How about you? -- Doug Smith

Are you telling the truth? Don't you feel like asking that sometimes when the person you are talking to seems to be spinning the truth? Sometimes we are so close to our version of the truth that we fail to see it could be only our version of the truth. It might not be true at all -- certainly not for others. The best way around that is to stay curious. Stay curious about what other people say. Stay curious about what we say. Even stay curious about what we think. Every idea we clutch in our tight little hands comes to us filtered by factors we've forgotten about long ago: culture, ego, gender, parenting, schooling, experience, ethnicity...so many details strained thru lenses we don't even know are there. Let's work a little more to stay curious. Sometimes we're so good at spinning the truth that we don't even know it's not true anymore. That's not helpful or useful. It doesn't have to take long but it does take some serious mindful awaren...

Are you telling the truth? Don't you feel like asking that sometimes when the person you are talking to seems to be spinning the truth? Sometimes we are so close to our version of the truth that we fail to see it could be only our version of the truth. It might not be true at all -- certainly not for others. The best way around that is to stay curious. Stay curious about what other people say. Stay curious about what we say. Even stay curious about what we think. Every idea we clutch in our tight little hands comes to us filtered by factors we've forgotten about long ago: culture, ego, gender, parenting, schooling, experience, ethnicity...so many details strained thru lenses we don't even know are there. Let's work a little more to stay curious. Sometimes we're so good at spinning the truth that we don't even know it's not true anymore. That's not helpful or useful. It doesn't have to take long but it does take some serious mindful awaren...