High Performance Leadership

Do you know someone who always blames someone else for their problems? I think we've done that - blame someone else. It's so easy. We'll be so much happier just as soon as THEY fix their problems. I've come to learn, through hardship and heartbreak, that a lot of the time that I'm hoping for someone else to get their act together that it's ME who needs to improve. The good news on that is that I can control what I do. I can take steps to improve. I just need to know what to change. When we share responsibility for success, instead of spreading the blame around, it no longer matters who is at fault. We are all at fault. None of us is perfect. If the issue didn't initiate with us, we likely did something to spark it or perpetuate it. Sharing responsibility for success allows us to move beyond that and take hold of better habits, better ideas, and better solutions. Once I accept sharing responsibility for success in solving a problem I realize how silly i...

Have you ever tried to solve a problem by finding the person to blame? How did that work? It doesn't work for me. I will admit occasionally thinking "this is all their fault" and carrying around that little unproductive burden. It doesn't help. Finding the solution to a problem usually does not require assessing blame. If it helps you find the root cause of the problem, the action then is not to assess that blame but to solve the root cause. Those are very different actions. "It's all your fault so fix it" is very different than "I've noticed that when you are abrupt with a customer that they sometimes stop buying our services. What is creating the need for being abrupt? How can we provide a better conversation for the customer?" Face it: no one will take the blame for your problem. Solve it without the blame. What problem have you been blaming someone else for? What if you worked on fixing the problem collaboratively? -- Doug...

When you run into obstacles are you ever tempted to blame someone? The goal is within your site, but something keeps blocking it so it must be someone's fault, right? Maybe not. And even if there is someone to blame, blaming them doesn't get you closer to your goal. Relentless action gets you there. Constant follow-up gets you there. Persistence and patience gets you there. Setbacks are not always rational and there isn't usually one thing to blame. So drop the blame. Move on with the action. Stay curious. Focus on your goal and (most importantly) the people who can and will help you achieve that goal.  Because once you've achieved your goal, blame doesn't matter, does it? -- Doug Smith

Do you like it when someone blames you for something you didn't do? For that matter, you probably don't like it when people blame you for things you DID do either. Blame creates more ill feelings. While it may be intended to build in accountability, does it seem to you that it works that way? Instead, problems get escalated. People point fingers. Guilt is transferred. When justice is required, seek justice. But assigning blame -- randomly or otherwise -- seldom improves the situation. Blame brings shame so play a better game. It might take courage. It might take compassion. It might take the clarity of seeing the bigger, better picture and working to create the better relationship. Find ways to get past the situation to a mutually shared goal. Play a better game. -- Douglas Brent Smith