High Performance Leadership

We are all good at judging. We ascribe motives to other people all the time. We judge their driving, their performance, their communication...judging is natural. But how useful is it? Do you like to be judged? Do you want other people judging your motives, your desire, your intention? Probably not -- and neither do other people want that from you. We do have other choices. My favorite is to stay curious. Whenever I catch myself about to judge (maybe 99 times a day!) I've learned to pause, breathe, and stay curious. What's really going on? How much of whatever I'm about to judge has anything to do with me? And if it is all about me, how much have I contributed to what I am about to judge? If I've contributed a lot, then maybe judgment isn't what I'm looking for because that means judging myself as well. And, if I haven't contributed a lot, maybe it is time that I did...BEFORE I feel empowered to judge. Before you judge, see what other choices you hav...

Do you like criticism? I'll admit that I don't. I'm blessed with overly-sensitive sensibilities, and criticism triggers all kinds of defensiveness. But I'm working on it. I'm learning. Criticism can be harsh, but not all criticism is harsh. As don Miguel Ruiz says, "don't take anything personally" (The Four Agreements.) Instead of taking criticism personally, I'm working on finding the value. Finding the feedback that I can use. You might not be able to use all of it. Some days, you can't use any of it. When you can - do. If you can take criticism without getting defensive you'll find the benefit it's meant to give. It's part of good leadership. It's integral for communicating for results. And, it will help you to achieve your goals. Use that to make your situation better, and it's all good. -- Doug Smith

I used to run away from negative thoughts. They could be mine, or someone else's. Sometimes someone close to me would bring an idea that just scared me, or bothered me, and I'd pretend to ignore it. That wasn't a good idea. Just because someone is negative doesn't mean that they're wrong. They could be wrong. They could be right. They could be far off the mark, and they could be close. We owe to them and ourselves to stay curious enough to figure it out. A negative thought includes the potential for positive action. I'm all in favor of positive action. Sometimes, a critical comment gets us going. High performance leaders are not afraid of criticism. It tells a story. It tells us about our relationships, our processes, our goals. When people express themselves, positively or negatively, until we listen they won't go away, they won't be at their best, and we won't collaborate as well as we should. Take on that criticism. Stay curious. Sometim...

Taking a very long walk. Do you ever feel like simply avoiding some feedback that's headed your way? Sometimes I'd rather have someone keep their opinion to themselves. If they're not happy, if they are sounding judgmental, if they have a frowny face. Wouldn't be easier if they just kept quiet? Easier in that moment. And, sometimes maybe it's even the best thing possible if a harsh critic keeps a damaging opinion private. But I've also learned that sometimes the toughest message is what I truly need to hear in order to learn. Just because I don't like criticism doesn't mean it isn't good for me. I just might need to take a good long afterwards. How about you? Here's how to embrace criticism: Remember, they could be wrong. As my friend Dr. Jay Desko has said, "feedback says more about the person providing the feedback than it does about you." Stay curious. There is probably something useful to learn. Remember that a...