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Showing posts with the label emotional intelligence

Be Careful Of Promises

Are some life lessons harder on you than others? The hardest of course are those that damage you -- falling victim and learning not to be a victim, getting dominated and either building strength or embracing servitude -- lessons that we don't necessarily choose because they choose us. A lesson that chose me was this: people seldom keep their promises. Even the people I have felt the closest to have broken promises. Even people who swore on legal oaths (and yes, even on a Bible) have broken promises. And, of course, I have broken promises. Hard lessons all.  Why do we break our promises? Because they are so very hard to keep. They bind us. They restrict us. They surrender us to the word and well-being of another or others and as a result it feels as if our own freedom diminishes. We just aren't wired to give that stuff up easily. But we sure do promise it easily. People make promises they have no earthly chance of keeping and often no conscious intention of keeping. That's a...

How About Those Emotions?

  Do you work on your emotions? Turns out that emotional intelligence is important. Being able to manage your own emotions, adjust accordingly, recognize the emotions of others, and influence those emotions is powerful. Leaders do well to develop their emotional capacity. My problem has never been too little focus on emotions. My life long adventure has included struggles to control those emotions. It's like this classic exchange: "I think you've got an anger problem..." "What the HELL are you TALKING about?" Or this one: "Where did you go?" "I just had to get away..." "To sulk?" "..." "You can have your problem and get upset about it or you can just have your problem. It's completely up to you..." None of us are perfect. But as Groucho said in a famous movie line "Nobody's perfect, but you're abusing the privilege." Working on it. Getting better at it. Recognizing, managing, and control...