Are some life lessons harder on you than others?
The hardest of course are those that damage you -- falling victim and learning not to be a victim, getting dominated and either building strength or embracing servitude -- lessons that we don't necessarily choose because they choose us.
A lesson that chose me was this: people seldom keep their promises.
Even the people I have felt the closest to have broken promises. Even people who swore on legal oaths (and yes, even on a Bible) have broken promises. And, of course, I have broken promises.
Hard lessons all.
Why do we break our promises? Because they are so very hard to keep. They bind us. They restrict us. They surrender us to the word and well-being of another or others and as a result it feels as if our own freedom diminishes. We just aren't wired to give that stuff up easily.
But we sure do promise it easily. People make promises they have no earthly chance of keeping and often no conscious intention of keeping. That's as hard lesson. We should probably stop that.
I'm careful about what I promise these days. If I can't keep the promise, I do not make it. That will disappoint some people sometimes but when would you rather disappoint someone -- with the truth or with a lie?
Stick to the truth. If you can't keep a promise, then keep it to yourself. Have the courage to admit "this is how I feel today and tomorrow I might feel entirely different so all of this will change..."
I know, ouch. But if ouch it is, rip off the bandaid and expose the wound.
A promise is a burden so only promise carefully and honestly.
That probably means promising a whole lot less.
-- doug smith
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