Look for and Listen for True Feedback

Are you a fan of feedback?

I once avoided it. Oh, I'd enjoy positive feedback as much as anyone. Truthfully, I loved it. But feedback for improvement? Or outright criticism? Yeah, go ahead and keep that to yourself.

Even when I taught other people that feedback was a gift, the negative feedback could stay wrapped up as far as I was concerned.

Then I realized that it's only feedback. It may or not be even true. It comes from one person's perspective and that is influenced by so many factors, much of it has absolutely nothing to do with me.

But more important than that -- there are things about my performance I miss. There are things that I don't see, don't hear, don't feel but that other people do and that effects their experience. Since I want my customers, my clients, my learners to all have the best possible positive learning experience when they work with me, the constructive feedback really does help me to do more of what is needed and less of what is not wanted or useful.

Feedback is a gift. Open it up. Unwrap it. Unpack it. Figure out how you can use it without taking it personally. It's not about you, anyway. The best part is about your performance.

Why not make that the best that you can?

-- Doug Smith

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Listen to Their Story

"An enemy is a person whose story we have not heard." -- Gene Knudsen Hoffman Without contrary evidence it always seems like we're right. Even WITH contrary evidence we get stuck often defending our story, our view. The story may not be wrong, but it is surely incomplete. Listen. Ask questions. Understand. Learn. High performance leaders look for common ground. -- doug smith

Dump Anonymous Feedback

What's the problem with anonymous feedback? The list is long. When people can say anything they want, without any accountability, they are sometimes rude. The feedback becomes exaggerated. Not knowing what to do with it (who do you try to please?) it frustrates the person receiving the feedback. Anonymous feedback encourages anti-social comments. It opens up a level of venting that is not healthy for either party. And, rather than building relationships, it tears them down. The best place for anonymous feedback is the garbage. It's too easy to be negative when no one knows who you are. Hold people accountable. Teach them that two-way communication is responsible, respectable, and useful. Let's keep the trash talking on the basketball court and build relationships of worth at work. -- Doug Smith

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How to Embrace Criticism

Taking a very long walk. Do you ever feel like simply avoiding some feedback that's headed your way? Sometimes I'd rather have someone keep their opinion to themselves. If they're not happy, if they are sounding judgmental, if they have a frowny face. Wouldn't be easier if they just kept quiet? Easier in that moment. And, sometimes maybe it's even the best thing possible if a harsh critic keeps a damaging opinion private. But I've also learned that sometimes the toughest message is what I truly need to hear in order to learn. Just because I don't like criticism doesn't mean it isn't good for me. I just might need to take a good long afterwards. How about you? Here's how to embrace criticism: Remember, they could be wrong. As my friend Dr. Jay Desko has said, "feedback says more about the person providing the feedback than it does about you." Stay curious. There is probably something useful to learn. Remember that a

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