High Performance Leadership

Recognition of our flaws should improve us, not break us. -- doug smith  

How good are you at providing feedback? If you're not sure, ask your team members. If you are good at it, they'll tell you. If you're not good at it, then maybe they will and maybe they won't. Feedback does not come easy. Skillful, useful feedback that improves both performance AND self-esteem is a delicate balance of recognizing positives and occasionally providing insights on areas of improvement -- all placed into the context of why it matters. Without the "why" -- why the feedback matters, why the improvement matters, why the performance matters, all the feedback you can muster will only fluster whoever you provide it to. Tell them what they did that was great, ask how they could make it even greater, and share with them why it all makes a difference. Because unless it really makes a difference who cares? Feedback, like any skill, takes practice. -- doug smith

Forgive mistakes, but give the feedback. -- doug smith

  I used to resist feedback. I would have rather not know than to hear something negative about me or my performance. Truthfully, I still don't crave criticism. But, I've learned that we always have choices when it comes to feedback. We can choose: How seriously we take it How personally we take it Whether or not we use it Whether or not we build our relationships with it I'm sure you can think of even more choices.  Feedback gives us insights into our development. Seeing our level of development -- finding out what we've still got to learn and yes, reinforcing where we are already strong -- is excellent guidance. It's like finding treasure map, with your potential being the treasure. I'm going to keep digging. How about you? -- doug smith Fast, affordable leadership training

  Do you like to be judged? Me, either. I'm never sure what to do with judgment so I'm learning to ignore it. That's not the same as feedback, though. Comments about observations -- what someone saw, heard, experienced...that is valuable. It's still up to the receiver whether or not to do anything with it, but observations are a useful tool for improvement. Judgment does not improve the experience, but careful and compassionate observation can provide useful direction. Share what you saw, heard, smelled, touched, or experienced. Leave the judging up to judges and the grading up to teachers.  -- doug smith

How often do you get feedback on your performance as a leader? We're all busy. We all have things to tend to. Yet, if we are leading people, how do we know that we are leading with hearts of service and helpfulness? How do we know that our own agendas are not displacing our true mission? We all make mistakes. We all have weak spots. We need someone to let us know when we go off the track and when we miss the mark. Even people of noble character have weak spots in their values. That's why we need feedback and coaching. -- doug smith

John Maxwell has said that the only failure is the failure to miss the lesson. So many times we when it feels like we failed, what we have gained is the opportunity to learn. Go with the learning and the lesson may be well worth the momentary loss. High performance leaders several low performance into lessons learned. It then leads to better performance. Feedback, plus insights, leads to learning. Learning leads to success. Find the lesson. Accept the feedback. Grow. -- doug smith

We are all good at judging. We ascribe motives to other people all the time. We judge their driving, their performance, their communication...judging is natural. But how useful is it? Do you like to be judged? Do you want other people judging your motives, your desire, your intention? Probably not -- and neither do other people want that from you. We do have other choices. My favorite is to stay curious. Whenever I catch myself about to judge (maybe 99 times a day!) I've learned to pause, breathe, and stay curious. What's really going on? How much of whatever I'm about to judge has anything to do with me? And if it is all about me, how much have I contributed to what I am about to judge? If I've contributed a lot, then maybe judgment isn't what I'm looking for because that means judging myself as well. And, if I haven't contributed a lot, maybe it is time that I did...BEFORE I feel empowered to judge. Before you judge, see what other choices you hav...

Whenever I've been too sensitive I have confused criticism with condemnation. I have since come to realize that no-one really appreciates judgment. We do need feedback, but we need it in the form of observations -- not judgment. We can react to feedback. We can choose to take suggestions, or chose not to, and not take it personally. But judgement just flat out feels negative and so we recoil. We withdraw. We miss the message. Knowing the difference between criticism and condemnation helps us decide when to react and when to recoil. Criticism, framed as feedback, we can take. Condemnation is of no use at all. -- doug smith

What kind of feedback do you request? Are you getting feedback on your own perceptions? We see things differently, day to day. We might even distort what we're looking at. When we distort our mission or our goals it leads us astray. When we distort our performance ("I'm doing great! Sure I am! Everything is wonderful!") we risk falling off track. Things can get sketchy. When you look in the mirror, remember that mirrors reverse everything. What you see is not what you see. Similarly, when you look at yourself, could you be revering things? Could you be getting it just a bit backwards? Get feedback from others. Creatively check other perspectives. Because our mirror lies, and we need help seeing ourselves. -- Doug Smith

It's not failure -- it's a direction correction... -- Doug Smith

Do you like criticism? I'll admit that I don't. I'm blessed with overly-sensitive sensibilities, and criticism triggers all kinds of defensiveness. But I'm working on it. I'm learning. Criticism can be harsh, but not all criticism is harsh. As don Miguel Ruiz says, "don't take anything personally" (The Four Agreements.) Instead of taking criticism personally, I'm working on finding the value. Finding the feedback that I can use. You might not be able to use all of it. Some days, you can't use any of it. When you can - do. If you can take criticism without getting defensive you'll find the benefit it's meant to give. It's part of good leadership. It's integral for communicating for results. And, it will help you to achieve your goals. Use that to make your situation better, and it's all good. -- Doug Smith

I had a boss once who insulted me every day. It seemed like nothing would please her. And, it wasn't just me -- she insulted everyone on the staff. It made coming to work far more stressful than it needed to be, and took the joy right out of the job. Don't be that boss. Sure, we need to provide feedback for improvement - but that's what it is, not insults. No one is looking for judgments that make them feel bad. No one wants their self-esteem cut to shreds because the boss is having a bad day. Keep your bad days to yourself, please. Feedback designed to harm or insult is better left unexpressed. Your team will feel better, and you will, too. -- Doug Smith Bring our two-day workshop "Supervising for Success" to your location for just $149 per participant for organizations within 50 miles of Newtown, PA. For more info: Supervising for Success

Self-deception is so strong that we can't tell where it starts or ends. To avoid falling into a trap of self-deception, get all the feedback you need. Positive feedback, feedback for improvement, and reality-checks against deception. Find people you trust, and ask: does this make sense? Is this a noble goal, or is this a self-serving goal? High performance leaders confront self-deception. It's there: deal with it. -- Doug Smith Bring our two-day "Supervising for Success" workshop to your location. Contact me here: doug@dougsmithtraining.com What's in the workshop: - Achieving your goals - Developing leadership - Ten keys to leadership success - Communicating for results - Building your team - Developing motivation in yourself and others - Improving productivity - Coaching to improve performance - Exploring generational strengths and challenges - Setting and keeping priorities It's two-days of leadership training that your front-line s...

Are you a fan of feedback? I once avoided it. Oh, I'd enjoy positive feedback as much as anyone. Truthfully, I loved it. But feedback for improvement? Or outright criticism? Yeah, go ahead and keep that to yourself. Even when I taught other people that feedback was a gift, the negative feedback could stay wrapped up as far as I was concerned. Then I realized that it's only feedback. It may or not be even true. It comes from one person's perspective and that is influenced by so many factors, much of it has absolutely nothing to do with me. But more important than that -- there are things about my performance I miss. There are things that I don't see, don't hear, don't feel but that other people do and that effects their experience. Since I want my customers, my clients, my learners to all have the best possible positive learning experience when they work with me, the constructive feedback really does help me to do more of what is needed and less of what i...

Why do we lie? That's a compelling question worth exploring. I once read that on average we tell about 26 lies a day. That's a lot of lying. But as leaders, don't we rely on our people to tell the truth? Aren't they (and our customers, and our families!) relying on US to tell the truth? What if it's not exactly our fault? What if we can dramatically reverse the amount of lies we tell by adding a bit of mindfulness? I like this video. It involves behavioral science and while it would be nice to have even more research on this, I do find the evidence compelling that very often we lie unconsciously. Watch the video and see what you think. Interesting experiment? What opportunities can you think of where you work to wake-up the moral foundation in your people? How can you remind people that you are counting on the truth? High performance leaders must communicate for results. That means finding, and delivering, the truth. How can you hold yourself and othe...

How effected are you by what other people think of you? There have been times in my life when I was extremely effected by what some people thought of me. It steered me. It troubled me. It kept me trying to play the game of making people happy who couldn't really be made happy. Happiness is up to us. I'm still working on it. A background in service jobs, a general desire to please, a sense of compassion can all lead me to try too hard to please. Yes, I'll do my job to the best of my ability. Yes, I will be kind. But, I can't drive myself crazy anymore wondering if people like me. Whether or not they like me is a reflection on them, not me. At some point it doesn't matter what other people think of you. Get to that point quickly. Then get busy on your goals. -- Doug Smith

"Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker." -- Zig Zigler You know that we can learn from our mistakes. You might also know that failure carries many valuable lessons. I like the expression that comes from NLP (Neurolistic Programing) "there is no failure, only feedback." There's always something to learn. Any effort that results in learning is not a complete failure. So it's up to us. While we would never choose to fail at anything (oh horrors!) sometimes we will. Whether we learn or not is completely up to us. Find the learning. Find the success. What have you learned today? -- Doug Smith

I used to run away from negative thoughts. They could be mine, or someone else's. Sometimes someone close to me would bring an idea that just scared me, or bothered me, and I'd pretend to ignore it. That wasn't a good idea. Just because someone is negative doesn't mean that they're wrong. They could be wrong. They could be right. They could be far off the mark, and they could be close. We owe to them and ourselves to stay curious enough to figure it out. A negative thought includes the potential for positive action. I'm all in favor of positive action. Sometimes, a critical comment gets us going. High performance leaders are not afraid of criticism. It tells a story. It tells us about our relationships, our processes, our goals. When people express themselves, positively or negatively, until we listen they won't go away, they won't be at their best, and we won't collaborate as well as we should. Take on that criticism. Stay curious. Sometim...

I've said this many times - be careful about judging. I've judged people without knowing the whole story. I've judged people without the compassion that it requires to be human. If you're a judge, go ahead and judge. If you're not a judge, you might want to ask questions and suspend your judgement long enough to figure out what's really going on. We seldom have all the answers and very often we lack the very answers we need to make a true assessment. I regret little, but one thing is every time that I've judge another person. I don't like being judged. Do you? Then what gives us the willingness to judge others? Judging actions is fair. Judging motives is tricky. Judging people is going too far. Judging people is God's work, not ours. I'll do my best to resist every impulse to judge today. How about you? -- Doug Smith