Bristling Feedback

Do you ever find it really hard to listen to feedback?

I can recall a few times when the feedback that I was getting was either so far off base as to be insulting or so extreme as to be hurtful. Maybe it was just me, but there didn't seem to be any point.

Or was there?

At other times, when I have kept my feelings at bay long enough to listen, there is some element of truth worth exploring. There is often some kernel of insight that can be useful. Not always -- sometimes the feedback we get isn't even meant to be useful -- but sometimes.

Centered leaders suspend judgment of themselves and the person providing the feedback to find the insight that's worth exploring.

It may be in the feedback. It may be concerning your relationship. It may be in your reaction. But, it is likely there. We can usually learn something if we are open to the lesson available.

Is there someone you work with who you find it hard to take feedback from? What would happen if you listened without judgement, without reacting?

Is there someone who seems to shut down when you provide them with feedback? What can you change about your delivery that will make your insights easier to take?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Learn more in the workshop: Communicating for Results

Comments

Leadership and Process Improvement

As a leader, how much attention do you give to improving processes? Do you watch your team install a process and then simply let it flow on and on -- or do you drive a constant focus to improve that process? Too often I've seen leaders spend their efforts trying to fix people , when the center of their problems is usually broken processes and procedures . Any process can be improved until it's no longer necessary. And then you can shut it down. It's work is done. So keep improving those processes. If you're still doing it, you can still improve it. -- Douglas Brent Smith http://frontrangeleadership.com

Perfect Relationships

Is your partner perfect? Are you? I've made enough mistakes in my life and in my relationships to know that the search for perfection is illusive at best and at worst, frustrating. There are no perfect people out there waiting for us, to fall in love with us, to fix us, to bring us what we need, to fulfill our dreams. But that's OK. In fact, that's wonderful. We don't need a perfect person in order to create love. Love creates the perfect person. -- Douglas Brent Smith

Brace Yourself On The Edge

Do you pride yourself in being cutting edge? Do you try new techniques, stay creative, build innovation instead of comfort? Good for you. And if you said no, allow me to encourage you to push the edge a bit more. Get out of your comfort zone. The really big goals makes us just bit uncomfortable. We might even sweat. Push the edge, even knowing that sometimes when you push the edge you get pushed back. People might object to the radical new approach. They might take exception to your changes. Push the edge anyway. Leading often means going where no one else has gone. All the way to the edge. Pack a lunch, it could take a while, but do stay with it. -- Doug Smith

No Hiding The Truth

What happens when someone tries to hide the truth? It pops up, unexpected, full-blown and often unforgiving. There is no hiding the truth. The truth always bubbles to the top. Pushing down what we regard as worth hiding, even when it's clearly true, simply delays the inevitable. The truth comes out, and then whoever attempted to hide it looks doubly suspicious and unreliable. Also, when we try to hide the truth we suddenly limit our possibilities. What can we say? What should we suppress? Where are we headed? Who can know and who cannot know? Did we tell the wrong person already? Maybe we should just keep quiet... Truth we try to hide becomes our tallest wall. It's a weight we carry around wondering when we can let it go. It's a wall that prevents us from seeing the beauty that belongs in all truth, even the truth that troubles us. What secret truth are you carrying around? Isn't it time to let that go? -- Douglas Brent Smith Front Range Leadership: ...

Centered Leaders Create Positive Change

Do you feel the need to make radical changes in your team? Are there deep flaws within your organization that you've just got to transform? It can be tempting to equate radical with rude. It can seem reasonable to bend rules to change them. Centered leaders know, and practice better habits for change. Maybe it takes longer. Maybe it involves more people. Certainly, it involves all the clarity, courage, creativity and compassion that a leader can invoke -- but centered leaders find ways to radically change things with dignity and respect. Revolutionaries need not be ill-mannered or violent. There are an infinite number of paths to positive change. How can you approach change more positively today? -- Douglas Brent Smith

Do Your Best With Time

Here's another guest entry from my good friend and fraternity brother David Spiegel. If you know anything about the East Coast you'll get a sense for how his day went. If you ever struggle with managing time, some of this may sound familiar. As Dave says, we can't really manage time -- it's what we do with it that matters. Now, let's hear what Dave has to share: In a week where I have dedicated myself to regaining control over my time , I have come to realize that I am trying to accomplish something impossible. Time is time. Every day has exactly 1440 minutes to it and no matter what we do,we can not create any more of it. So instead of creating more time we spend our energy trying to make better use of those precious minutes each day.We attempt to manage time. Well guess what. We have no control over time. Time itself can not be managed. We can not speed it up or slow it down. Do you know why a watched pot never boils? It's a time thing...

Bring Success to Others

What is your primary goal as a leader? I consider my primary goal to be "helping people to achieve their goals." The most challenging thing to that is that I don't succeed unless others do. The longer I work, the more I am convinced that is true no matter what your primary goal is. To the extent that we help others, enrich others, empower others -- that's the degree of success we achieve. What if your success depends on your ability to bring success to others? Will it change the way you do business? Will it change the way you look at others? Will it recalibrate success? Sure. We have goals for ourselves. What I'm wondering, though, is how much more do we get when others do well as well? I'm thinking that the answer is: a bunch more. What do you think? -- Doug Smith

Call Fewer Meetings

Do you have too many meetings? Many leaders do. Staff meetings, committee meetings, team meetings, project meetings, all-company meetings...the list goes on. Most of us can think of many meetings that were simply wastes of our time. Time is too important to waste is bad meetings. Do the people in your meeting want to be there? If not, maybe it's not a meeting that you need. Maybe there's another way to communicate your message. Maybe the work that is waiting is too important to wait. We can like the feeling of having a meeting. It feels like we're doing something. But if we're not -- if we are delaying real work, maybe we don't need that meeting after all. What scheduled meeting could you eliminate this week? Wouldn't it be nice to have that time to be...well, happy and more productive? -- Doug Smithy

Little Goals Support the Big Goals

Have you ever had to push a stalled car? When it's not moving, it takes a big push to get it going. Unless you're headed downhill. If you're going to stall, stall headed downhill. Stall only when you're already headed for the finish line. Of course we don't get to pick when our goals will stall. They surprise us. Barriers appear we'd never expected. But we can plan for that. We can support our big goals with a series of smaller goals that keep our momentum going, our team energized, and our plans on track. That big goal might need a few little goals to get your creativity going. Give your big goals all they help they need. Break them into little goals and watch your progress add up. Climb that mountain, but get headed downhill to the finish line as soon as you can -- support your big goals with little goals that matter. -- Doug Smith

Keep Reading

How many books do you read each year? I'm not keeping score And as a full disclosure you should probably know that part of what I do is sell books and learning resources. Even if I didn't, though, I am a big believer in continuing to learn. Read. Experiment. Explore. Talk about it. Try things. Watch videos. Listen to audios. Keep learning. The world is changing so fast, how will you keep up? How do you get the training the need when you're not being offered the training you need? Keep reading. You don't have to read every book cover to cover to find great value in it. I used to think that if I started reading a book that I'd have to finish it. That got me slugging thru some poor material. Now I know that you can glean a lot from a book by scanning it, skimming it, reading what you need and leaving the rest for another time. I do still read books cover to cover (some more than once!) AND I read a lot of books for what is relevant to me right now. Howe...

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