Bristling Feedback

Do you ever find it really hard to listen to feedback?

I can recall a few times when the feedback that I was getting was either so far off base as to be insulting or so extreme as to be hurtful. Maybe it was just me, but there didn't seem to be any point.

Or was there?

At other times, when I have kept my feelings at bay long enough to listen, there is some element of truth worth exploring. There is often some kernel of insight that can be useful. Not always -- sometimes the feedback we get isn't even meant to be useful -- but sometimes.

Centered leaders suspend judgment of themselves and the person providing the feedback to find the insight that's worth exploring.

It may be in the feedback. It may be concerning your relationship. It may be in your reaction. But, it is likely there. We can usually learn something if we are open to the lesson available.

Is there someone you work with who you find it hard to take feedback from? What would happen if you listened without judgement, without reacting?

Is there someone who seems to shut down when you provide them with feedback? What can you change about your delivery that will make your insights easier to take?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Learn more in the workshop: Communicating for Results

Comments

High Performance Leadership Combination

We can rationalize anything without making it justified. Leaders should always ask: who is this good for other than me? High performance leadership does NOT mean performance at any cost. It means performance that serves a noble cause while also benefiting people. High performance leadership is a combination. Results without relationships are shallow and temporary. Take care of both, and you'll be a high performance leader. -- doug smith

Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

New Ideas

New ideas won't break you but they can make you bigger. -- doug smith

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

Start With Kindness

When you start with kindness you don't have to stay there, but you probably will. It works better for others. It works better for you. If you're human, you'll probably relapse. It does take practice to stay the course. The course starts by starting. When you start with kindness, it becomes more naturally the way. High performance leadership develops from the core leadership strengths of clarity, creativity, courage, and compassion. Build one of those strengths today thru some act of kindness and the others will get stronger as well. -- doug smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Decide

What do you want? Are you getting what you want? Intention is direction. Decide. And, then go. -- doug smith

What You Need

Use what you've learned to become what you need. -- doug smith

Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

Show Integrity

The goals we seek bring a lot of pull to them. We get wrapped in them. It's useful and it's powerful when we care about our goals so much that they propel us forward and keep us working even when we're tired, beyond the boundaries of our usual limitations. But they should not take us beyond the boundaries of our usual values. They should not trick us into bending the rules just because the rules are in the way. Truly high performance leaders of character who are focused, and centered, and noble maintain integrity. No cheating is ever worth the outcome. Integrity is so rare that many people don't even recognize. If you do, be thankful. We need leaders like you. To truly understand integrity you've got to keep it. Even when it's hard. Even the lines are blurred. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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