High Performance Leadership

  My first emotional reaction is often wrong and always incomplete. Pause. Breathe. Experience. That next response could be much better. -- doug smith

  Do you work on your emotions? Turns out that emotional intelligence is important. Being able to manage your own emotions, adjust accordingly, recognize the emotions of others, and influence those emotions is powerful. Leaders do well to develop their emotional capacity. My problem has never been too little focus on emotions. My life long adventure has included struggles to control those emotions. It's like this classic exchange: "I think you've got an anger problem..." "What the HELL are you TALKING about?" Or this one: "Where did you go?" "I just had to get away..." "To sulk?" "..." "You can have your problem and get upset about it or you can just have your problem. It's completely up to you..." None of us are perfect. But as Groucho said in a famous movie line "Nobody's perfect, but you're abusing the privilege." Working on it. Getting better at it. Recognizing, managing, and control...

Are you an emotional leader? I had a boss once who put his fist thru a wall. He got lucky. If he hits a stud, it's a broken hand, at least. But he hit pure dry wall and his fist went right thru. He was making a point. I don't remember what his point was, but it was obvious that he was angry. He was also out of control. Leaders can't afford to look out of control. Scare your team and they'll lose productivity faster than you can say "update the resume." I've lost my temper, too -- but never put my fist thru a wall (at work. I did once in college in the apartment where I lived, but that's another story. Oh, yes I did fix the hole.) Sure, leaders can have emotions. But if our emotions get out of control they get in our way. Our teams panic. Our customers walk. Our families cringe. I'm not advocating any kind of flat line robotics here. Enjoy your emotions. Cry. Laugh. Cuss if you need to. Enjoy the joy that's there in lif...

When I worked for GE and I was learning project management, they had a popular expression that was often spoken with pride and just a touch of arrogance. "In God we trust, all others show us the data." We used to say that opinions were like noses. Everyone's got one. So what. What does the data say? Since then data has become even more important. We rely on data for so much. It drives decisions. It sorts product offerings. It calibrates without feeling the temperature of the times. And yet...what about the heart? Haven't you sometimes had a feeling that something wasn't right and discovered that you were right? There wasn't any data to tell you, it just hit you as true. Relying on your gut instincts can be dangerous. Our intuition is wrong at a surprisingly high frequency. But data isn't everything. How we feel matters. How our customers feel matters. What we bring to our work through our emotions matters. Rely on the data. What other choice do...

How are you under pressure? When deadlines loom, when the client calls upset, when demands are unreasonable -- how do you react? High performance leaders are not screamers. That stereotype might play on TV but never in a real workplace. Real leaders remain calm under pressure. It's possible to communicate a sense of urgency without being a jerk. It's possible to elevate a conversation without yelling. If we get angry it just gets in the way. People will react but they will also (actively or passively) get even. The cost is too high to get loud and emotional. High performance leaders stay calm. Take a breath. Heck, take three deep breaths. Center yourself. Keep a view of the big picture. And then let the work take care of the work. -- Doug Smith

What do you do when someone in your range of influence is angry? It can be discomforting. It can be disruptive. Anger is tough to handle under the best of circumstances. And yet, handle it we must. Centered, high performance leaders are careful about anger. Careful about their own anger and careful about their reactions to the anger of others. I had a boss once (a very long time ago) who told me that I had a problem with anger. That made me angry. The reaction to anger is sometimes defensiveness, sometimes fear, and sometimes (surprise!) more anger. Whatever our reaction, our bodies are usually poised for action. What we do in that moment of activation is critical to our success. If our life or emotional well-being is being threatened, that steers our direction. But usually, although it feels that way, we are not actually under any threat. So we must deal with anger productively. We must say what we want without blaming others for it not being there. We must listen with cur...

How do you like to make decisions? I'm a fact-based guy who likes to keep the emotions out of the decision, so there's my bias. Some people are emotions based deciders and don't like the facts to get in the way. What if we considered both the heart and the mind? I'm learning to listen better, with my heart. To hear what is really going on and not just what I think I hear through my heavy filters. Sure, one of those filters is my heart, or how I feel. That requires a certain mindfulness to be able to discern which emotions am I bringing to the decisions apart from which emotions is the decision bringing about. Yes, there is a difference. By finding a place of center, of neutral feeling, we can hear what emotions are going on within the choices. We can better discover possibilities if we refrain from judging them for a while. We can better understand the full picture if we listen with a heart that's open. If you want to supervise for success, listen with your ...

Does emotional baggage ever intrude on your problem solving process? Sometimes people bring up feelings that were deeply hidden yet growing. Sometimes unresolved conflict re-emerges creating sparks and noise in your attempts at collaboration. It's easy to get excited about a problem. It's especially tempting when people seem to be making the problem worse. But does getting angry help? Does attaching yourself so tightly to the outcome that you burst help your situation? Probably not. Any problem is big enough without adding emotional baggage. Why not drop the emotional baggage and focus on your goal? -- Douglas Brent Smith