High Performance Leadership

  The truth won't get you in trouble unless it's meant to hurt someone. And then, trouble is certain. High performance leaders tell the truth. -- doug smith

  Do you work on your emotions? Turns out that emotional intelligence is important. Being able to manage your own emotions, adjust accordingly, recognize the emotions of others, and influence those emotions is powerful. Leaders do well to develop their emotional capacity. My problem has never been too little focus on emotions. My life long adventure has included struggles to control those emotions. It's like this classic exchange: "I think you've got an anger problem..." "What the HELL are you TALKING about?" Or this one: "Where did you go?" "I just had to get away..." "To sulk?" "..." "You can have your problem and get upset about it or you can just have your problem. It's completely up to you..." None of us are perfect. But as Groucho said in a famous movie line "Nobody's perfect, but you're abusing the privilege." Working on it. Getting better at it. Recognizing, managing, and control

  If you paint, paint a lot. If you write, write constantly. If you sing, sing everywhere. Creativity thrives in the doing. -- doug smith

  How many goals are on your list? I've know people to have over a hundred goals on their list. That's fine. Many people have declared great success with an extensive list of goals. For me, that many goals will overwhelm me. To look at a list and see more than fifty unachieved is less than encouraging. Keep the long list if you like, but here's what I suggest:  Show to courage to focus on five top goals.  Put five goals at the top and focus on them until each one is done. Big or small, that's up to you. But leaders get stuff done. Get stuff done! -- doug smith

How often do you talk with your team members, one-on-one? Not counting the group meetings, are you scheduling and keeping regular conversations with each and every team member? They need that level of attention. They require that level of attention. They have a much better chance of meeting your expectations when you give them that level of attention. It's an effort. It takes discipline. But, what could be more important than clear and regular communication with your team members? I would say, just about nothing would be more important. High performance leaders talk with each team member about what comes next. High performance leaders talk with each team member about performance. High performance leaders talk with each team member regularly, openly, honestly, and deeply. It's your best leadership tool. Talk with your team members. -- doug smith

  We're never done. There are always more goals. There is enough to keep us busy as long as we like. As leaders, there's our choice: do we continue to lead? Do we tackle new goals? I think, yes. Achieving a goal does not promise you perfection. There is always another goal. -- doug smith

Have you ever felt like you had it all figured out? Like you had all the answers and your confidence was exceeded only by your skill? It would be great if that feeling lasted, but if you work hard enough, encounter enough people, and experience enough disappointment you know the feeling fades away. It's an illusion. It can be a nice boost for the ego, but the ego is a lousy boss. The ego sends us places that we shouldn't go. The ego interrupts our growth. Better as a teacher is humility. And in the end, not as harsh.  I try to make peace with knowing that I can't know everything...but then I just want to know more. My grandmother was fond of saying "bless their little heart" whenever someone disappointed her. Instead of getting aggravating or judgmental, she gave them that little blessing. We could let our ego's blind us, bind us, or be unkind to us, but why not simply smile? Bless your ego's little heart -- it's doing the best it knows how to do. Just

Everybody wants something. Some people seem to want everything, or at least everything that interferes with what we want. That's a problem. And when what causes us a problem turns out to be an advantage, a benefit, a payoff...for someone else the problem is compounded.  If your problem is someone else's benefit don't expect them to help you solve it. Find another way to provide the benefit first, and then maybe they'll listen. -- doug smith  

How fast are you growing? Can you feel yourself evolving and developing into the next better version of yourself? As old as I am (and if you ask my best friend, she'll tell you I'm OLD) I am still evolving. Still growing. Still experimenting, trying, striving, and stretching. Not as fast as before, perhaps, but there are no additional boundaries -- just opportunities. I aim to do as much as I can as long as I can. As Judi tells me, "you can sleep when you die." Well, I do need sleep BEFORE then, but in the mean time she's right: there's a lot of work to be done. Get busy. -- doug smith

This is a guest entry from my good friend and fraternity brother, David Spiegel. Dave runs, co-runs, and helps keep going some great businesses. He also is a kind soul with a dry sense of humor. Here's Dave: Common Ground There can be no doubt that we are living in highly polarized times. Passions, feelings, and tempers can be inflamed in an instant. This diversity is increasing on a daily basis. Still, I believe when we act as mature rational individuals, we can and will be able to find common ground. Take the relationship between my good friend and fraternity brother Doug and myself. One of us is true blue. The other one's blood runs as red as the stripes on the flag. We never argue about it. In fact, I can't ever remember it ever being an issue. Of course when we meet at our frat's yearly get together and one of us is wearing a red hat the other one naturally tends to bristle a bit. Still, we respect each other and value each other's opinion, no matter how misgui

What motivates you, moves you. -- doug smith

Leaders lacking courage don't lead long. -- doug smith

What goes into developing leadership character? Values - how you choose to live your life. Ethics -- how you operate. Morales -- how you respect other individuals.  It's also willingness to learn, willingness to hear feedback, willingness to listen. Add more to that (what do you think?) and the list of qualified leaders with positive character gets small. And yet, we need leaders with character. We need leaders who will do the right thing. We need leaders who consider the needs of the whole team, organization, and (yes) planet when making decisions.  Leadership character matters no matter what you lead. -- doug smith

Do you get angry? Doesn't everyone? A temper is a terrible thing, because it harms the owner the most. When we are angry, our target may not even know it. But, we sure do and that energy feeds on itself. I do not like being angry. I've had too much practice. Anger has hurt me and it has hurt others I never wanted to hurt. While anger can have its purpose -- defending someone in danger who has been abused or gathering the energy to right a wrong -- most of the time it is energy that could be better spent in repair. Better spent in building rapport. Better spent in building relationship. Anger fools us. Anger taunts us. Anger misdirects us. We might tied to work just to make sure that our anger is not part of the reason for our anger. Because many times, it is. What should we do? I humbly offer this distillation from wise advice of others. Breathe. Pause. Breathe again. Give your brain time to quiet the defensive posture and clearly see what's going on. What's going on? B

What are your top five goals? You might have more than five, but how many can you work on at any given time? I have a calendar-planner (paper, yes I still keep one of those) that has a space for five objectives for each day. That's all. And, it also has a column for priority, and honestly most of the time they are all "A" priorities. That's because I can focus on five. Any more than that, and the "B" priorities don't really hit the list. Because if they do, they aren't getting done anyway. Oh, I do a LOT more than five things each day. But I start with a focus on five goals that I know I need to do. Some are big, some are small; all get done. High performance leaders show the courage to focus on five top goals.  Work those goals. -- doug smith

Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves.  The answer is so easy that every time I ask a group of people at a workshop or webinar it's the first thing they say. We lie to ourselves the most.  "I'm not good enough...fast enough...young enough...good-looking enough...smart enough..." Nonsense. You are enough. We are enough.  So, why lie to ourselves? We're so good at it that we really do fool ourselves, sometimes into immobility. That's not fun. Tell the truth. Start with yourself. Stop lying to yourself first. Once you see how much better that is, it will be much easier to stop lying to anyone else. -- doug smith

Have you ever said anything that you regretted? That expression "put your foot in your mouth" resonates a bit more when you wear size 13's. I do. And yes, I have sometimes said things that I regretted. Because you know what? When you say something that hurts someone do you know when they'll forget it?  Never. They will never forget it. The damage is done, and just keeps on echoing through the years. That's why I've learned (well, OK, I'm working on it) to pause before saying something with an edge, something with anger, something even passive aggressive. The payoff is bad, and lasts forever. Words meant to hurt are better left unsaid. 'nuff said. -- doug smith

Are you feeling a little busy? Are there more problems than you can juggle at once? It feels new, and yet the world has always had unsolved problems waiting for your help. There are more people now, many more, and that does make a difference. Everything is multiplied.  Which makes you even more important than ever. The world will always need centered problem solvers. Are you ready? -- doug smith

True story: when I was much younger I was known to tell a tale or two. They were usually rooted in reality, but I'd embellish the truth to make it more interesting. Like that story I'd tell about my trip to McSorley's in New York when I ran into John Lennon. We had a nice conversation. Except, he wasn't there. I thought of him, and he lived in New York at the time, but seriously was much more likely to be on the other side of town. Go figure. How many times did I tell that tale? Maybe once or twice. Once to my best friend at the time. Did she believe me? Not if she knew me well enough... How about you? Do your fish stories end up with bigger fish than you actually caught? Do you augment reality with some great tales? I got a great gift last December from one of my good friends and fraternity brother, David Spiegel. It's a coffee mug with the saying "Keep telling the stories" written on it. I love it. I don't think that he meant "tell tales."

On the list of skills to brag about, procrastination should be very far down. Unless -- the things we procrastinate on are the things that matter less. That's not how it usually works, though, is it? We procrastinate on things that we don't really want to do, or are afraid of doing, or find inconvenient. Usually, when we procrastinate, we shouldn't. I don't like to hear about my procrastination. Could we please talk about that some other time? -- doug smith

When I worked at GE we were trained that integrity was our most important value, and that it meant following the spirit and letter of the law. No cutting corners. No fudging on the details. Compliance means following the spirit -- the intention -- of the value as well as the written detail. Real leaders never settle for anything that is technically not illegal. The next time you hear someone say "it's not technically illegal" what you might consider is: yes, it is. -- doug smith

Wouldn't it be nice if our teams were perfect? Every team eventually goes off the rails. It's up to the team leader to get the team back on track. -- doug smith

Sometimes we get stuck. The answer hides and the problem persists. If you have the same problem that you had a year ago you have not yet found the real problem. Keep digging. -- doug smith

Something someone said in one of my workshops keeps popping back and I'm glad that it does. We were talking about dealing with difficult people, with difficult situations, with difficult times, and he said he approaches everyone from the same hopeful stance of "unconditional positive regard." It's not something anyone has to earn. It's not something anyone can push away. It's a calm, focused, giving, loving way to look at those around us. Who around us? Everyone. I have failed at this many times, even since hearing the words of "unconditional positive regard" and yet I do not surrender to the negative that creeps in when I'm off my game. Like a gentle redirection, like a soft return to the breath, I can think "unconditional positive regard." Today is a great day to create a great day! -- doug smith

How important are your goals? Do you know how I can tell? I can tell how important a goal is by how disciplined and hard I work on them. Big effort = big importance. Little effort = just nice to have. Your effort measures the true value of your goal. I'm going to work today to put more effort into those goals that matter most. How about you? -- doug smith

Delight in imperfection and you'll be constantly delighted. -- doug smith

My former acting coach, Brian McCulley once said that "done is better than perfect." I don't think he meant to minimize quality, because that is also important. But sometimes urgency is more important than perfection, considering that we'll never achieve perfect. There are no perfect people. There are no perfect products. There are no perfect processes. We may travel John Wesley's road to perfection without ever getting there. That is completely fine. I've learned to seek wisdom rather than perfection since discovering the endless amount of personal flaws has destroyed any illusion of perfect. Still, I travel that road, whether it's driving or as a passenger. It's a good road, even when it never ends. I've also learned not to let it grieve me.  We are all here to improve. Let's keep improving. When we look into the mirror, let's not expect perfection. Let's not let disappointment cloud our days. Expecting perfection is not a

Whether you're flying or falling, land on love. Start to finish, it's your best choice. -- doug smith

High performance leaders do not make -- or accept -- excuses. -- doug smith

Think of competition as encouragement to grow. -- doug smith

Life is filled with disappointments. We can wallow in them or we can swim thru them to the other side. On the other side is an answer. If it's not the right answer, it's still the perfect answer because it leads to whatever is next. High performance leaders remember a key ingredient is love. When we encourage, when we coach, when we poke and prod and push, we do best when we remember to keep love in it. The kind of love that remembers that some part of everyone is broken in some way and maybe, just maybe, our little love is the glue that can hold it together. Come to love when it's tough. Come to love when it's harsh. Come to love when you're broken. Come to love when the only love you can think about walks out the door and slams it tight. It's not over for you, for your team, or for your hopes and dreams. The seeds are still there, in your own little love. Because your little love is huge. Because your little love will see you thru. And because it is a

Does your ego ever get in the way? Leaders do need healthy egos. We must demonstrate belief, confidence, and assurance. All of that requires healthy self-esteem that allows us to stand up to resistance and push thru difficulty. It's possible, though, for that self-esteem to turn into self-aggrandizement if we're not careful. How can we manage our egos? The best way I know is by developing the kinds of strong, open, honest relationships with people that allow others to provide feedback. Have a friend who is willing to tell you when your ego is bloated or your assumptions are presumptuous. Develop the resilience and resolve to realize that, gasp! you are not always right. Especially when we begin operating fast and relentlessly the safety valve of honest people keeps us out of trouble. Also, everyone we deal with has an ego. Our team members, our customers, our bosses. Egos are everywhere and whether they are confident or hesitant we deal with them in the middle of worki

High performance leaders are intense. They also take the time to reflect, regroup, and reconnoiter. Knowledge of the past informs the needs of the future. The past got us here. Let's be grateful and eager to build a better here and now. -- doug smith