If You Don't Know, Ask Why

Questions are powerful. I've been lucky to work with two powerful mentors. Each helped me to realize and utilize the importance of questions. Lester T. Shapiro told me, "The principle role of a leader is to ask relevant questions."

Relevant questions get to the heart of things. Relevant questions get to the motivations, needs, and causes of things. Ask relevant questions.

Another great mentor, Andrew Oxley, told me "If you don't like the answer to a question, ask a better question."

Powerful stuff. And here's the thing: there are always better questions. We need never be the victim of someone else's poor communication skills again. Simply ask better questions. It's up to us as leaders to keep the inquiry going long enough to complete a satisfactory dialogue. It can be hard work. The work is worth it.

Part of those questions includes the most demanding question of all, the deepest question of all, the question most likely to trigger defensiveness: "why?"

Use why sparingly. Use why with compassion. But do use why. Leaders (hey, really everyone) need to know why.

If you don't know why, ask.

Why wouldn't you? Because it's too much work? Because others might get defensive? Because you don't want to put anyone on the spot? Get over it! Why? Because you deserve to, you need to, you want to know why.

-- Doug Smith