How I Avoided Becoming a Wuss

How I Avoided Becoming a Wuss - By David Spiegel

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."

Joseph Campbell

Responding to my email from yesterday, I heard from a dear friend. She commented "Loved this thought for the day!".

It made me smile.

It also gave me pause to remember how and when she and I first met. We were freshmen together entering college, away from the comfort and safety of our parents homes. We had the same major at the time, music.

It was during those early days of being on my own, that I chose to pledge a fraternity. I truly believe this experience was a significant part of me becoming the person I am and not the wuss that I could have been.

This was not what anyone would consider the party animal or jock mentality frat that you often see portrayed in movies. It was however a place where the notion that you stand up to a challenge, rather than run away from one became part of who I am.

It would have been easy to spend my college days anonymously,getting by and following a path that some "adult" laid out for me. Instead I chose not only the road less taken, I often chose the road that had not been ventured down at all. The fraternity and the young men who would become my brothers, played a big role in that Journey.

I have played and coached in a lot of sports over the years. In wrestling, I learned to put on my headgear, walk confidently to the middle of the mat, shake hands firmly with my opponent, looking him straight in the eye, acknowledge the ref and then have at it.

It didn't matter that with in seconds I often ended up flat on my back staring at the ceiling.

It didn't matter to me that my opponent had been the district champ a year earlier.

It didn't matter that he was undefeated and had just been named athlete of the week.

Look him straight in the eye, shake his hand and wait for the whistle.

What did matter was that no matter how often (and believe me it was quite often) I ended up staring at that ceiling, when it was over I popped back up, walked upright to the middle of the mat and shook hands with my foe once again looking him straight in the eye.

It's called character.

The frat experience, hazing and all, solidified that character building. Life is not always easy.

Soft is no way to go through life. You get bumped and bruised along the way. You shake it off, you dust yourself off and then you get back in the game, the game of life. All the while standing tall and looking at whatever is in front of you squarely in the eye.

That's a big part of this game of life.

When I think of how I want to show up for that game, I am reminded of my first football coach saying "gentlemen, when it's game day, it's time to pull up your jockstrap, stick you hand in the dirt and have at it!"

Building character.

That's how you avoid becoming a wuss.

-- David Spiegel

Comments

The Benefits of Supervisory Training

When was the last time you had any leadership training? How often do the supervisors in your organization get training? If you are like most organizations, it's never enough. Some teams go without any supervisory training at all and expect supervisors and managers to learn as they go, on the job. Unfortunately, while it is memorable to learn from your mistakes, it comes at a high cost. People get tired. People leave. Important accounts go away. Customers complain. And teams struggle without the skills and knowledge it takes to build cohesive teams that are capable of solving problems, improving performance and achieving goals. Admittedly, I can be expected to support training since I'm in the business. Still, take a closer look at your own leadership career and decide for yourself. Are leaders better off with more training and development or with less? Supervisory training can generate benefits that pay off long after the training is over. Here are just a few of the things sup...

Reason to Talk

That misunderstanding, that festering conflict, that difficult behavior...what are we to do? Talk it over. Bring it up. Conflict is reason to talk. Conversations cost less than making assumptions. Talk about it.

Easy on the Multitasking

It's tempting when there is so much to do to heap it up on your top performers. Give them that extra project. Delegate more. While delegation is a key part of high performance leadership, be careful about giving too many things to be done all at once. You know already that multitasking is risky. When you're driving a car you are multitasking -- your hands are doing one thing, your feet are doing another thing, and your eyes are busy on another thing, and it's all perfectly fine, until you add one thing too many. Looking at your phone or changing the controls on your audio, or glancing over your shoulder at the kids in the backseat -- all it takes is one thing too many to be much more than one thing too many. Disaster awaits. Most multitasking causes more problems than it solves. Single task when possible and simply find another way. It may take longer, but it probably won't in the long run. -- doug smith

A Better Future

We can always imagine a better future and that's a great start to getting there. That's the fun part. The hard part is the work. But you know that already. Set the goal, identify the plan, then get started. No one else is going to do it for you. -- doug smith

Our Hearts Go Out To The People Of Japan

Greetings, It's on everyone's minds. Seemingly out of nowhere, an entire country and region has been thrown into panic and chaos over a huge natural event. In times like this we are reminded that the earth can be a hostile place. It's certainly a place of risk and trouble. Our hearts go out to the people in Japan. They are now faced with so many shortages, so many challenges that we long to reach out and help. I received one insightful "tweet" from someone that simply read "today we are all Japanese." In a way, we are. It brings me hope and some sense of helpfulness to know that our United Methodist organization reaches out directly thru global missions and its agency UMCOR to help those in need - including the people of Japan - and that 100% of all donations go directly to the cause. UMCOR can do this because the administrative costs are kept low and are paid through-out the year from United Methodist funds. Those of us who are United Methodists...

High Performance Leaders Practice Taking Criticism

Do you like criticism? I'll admit that I don't. I'm blessed with overly-sensitive sensibilities, and criticism triggers all kinds of defensiveness. But I'm working on it. I'm learning. Criticism can be harsh, but not all criticism is harsh. As don Miguel Ruiz says, "don't take anything personally" (The Four Agreements.) Instead of taking criticism personally, I'm working on finding the value. Finding the feedback that I can use. You might not be able to use all of it. Some days, you can't use any of it. When you can - do. If you can take criticism without getting defensive you'll find the benefit it's meant to give. It's part of good leadership. It's integral for communicating for results. And, it will help you to achieve your goals. Use that to make your situation better, and it's all good. -- Doug Smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Drop The Emotional Baggage

Does emotional baggage ever intrude on your problem solving process? Sometimes people bring up feelings that were deeply hidden yet growing. Sometimes unresolved conflict re-emerges creating sparks and noise in your attempts at collaboration. It's easy to get excited about a problem. It's especially tempting when people seem to be making the problem worse. But does getting angry help? Does attaching yourself so tightly to the outcome that you burst help your situation? Probably not. Any problem is big enough without adding emotional baggage. Why not drop the emotional baggage and focus on your goal? -- Douglas Brent Smith

Show Integrity

The goals we seek bring a lot of pull to them. We get wrapped in them. It's useful and it's powerful when we care about our goals so much that they propel us forward and keep us working even when we're tired, beyond the boundaries of our usual limitations. But they should not take us beyond the boundaries of our usual values. They should not trick us into bending the rules just because the rules are in the way. Truly high performance leaders of character who are focused, and centered, and noble maintain integrity. No cheating is ever worth the outcome. Integrity is so rare that many people don't even recognize. If you do, be thankful. We need leaders like you. To truly understand integrity you've got to keep it. Even when it's hard. Even the lines are blurred. -- doug smith

Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

Search This Blog