How I Avoided Becoming a Wuss

How I Avoided Becoming a Wuss - By David Spiegel

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."

Joseph Campbell

Responding to my email from yesterday, I heard from a dear friend. She commented "Loved this thought for the day!".

It made me smile.

It also gave me pause to remember how and when she and I first met. We were freshmen together entering college, away from the comfort and safety of our parents homes. We had the same major at the time, music.

It was during those early days of being on my own, that I chose to pledge a fraternity. I truly believe this experience was a significant part of me becoming the person I am and not the wuss that I could have been.

This was not what anyone would consider the party animal or jock mentality frat that you often see portrayed in movies. It was however a place where the notion that you stand up to a challenge, rather than run away from one became part of who I am.

It would have been easy to spend my college days anonymously,getting by and following a path that some "adult" laid out for me. Instead I chose not only the road less taken, I often chose the road that had not been ventured down at all. The fraternity and the young men who would become my brothers, played a big role in that Journey.

I have played and coached in a lot of sports over the years. In wrestling, I learned to put on my headgear, walk confidently to the middle of the mat, shake hands firmly with my opponent, looking him straight in the eye, acknowledge the ref and then have at it.

It didn't matter that with in seconds I often ended up flat on my back staring at the ceiling.

It didn't matter to me that my opponent had been the district champ a year earlier.

It didn't matter that he was undefeated and had just been named athlete of the week.

Look him straight in the eye, shake his hand and wait for the whistle.

What did matter was that no matter how often (and believe me it was quite often) I ended up staring at that ceiling, when it was over I popped back up, walked upright to the middle of the mat and shook hands with my foe once again looking him straight in the eye.

It's called character.

The frat experience, hazing and all, solidified that character building. Life is not always easy.

Soft is no way to go through life. You get bumped and bruised along the way. You shake it off, you dust yourself off and then you get back in the game, the game of life. All the while standing tall and looking at whatever is in front of you squarely in the eye.

That's a big part of this game of life.

When I think of how I want to show up for that game, I am reminded of my first football coach saying "gentlemen, when it's game day, it's time to pull up your jockstrap, stick you hand in the dirt and have at it!"

Building character.

That's how you avoid becoming a wuss.

-- David Spiegel

Comments

Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

New Ideas

New ideas won't break you but they can make you bigger. -- doug smith

What You Need

Use what you've learned to become what you need. -- doug smith

Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Show Up!

"You've got to be there. Big decisions are being made!" my former boss told me a long time ago. "If your voice is in the room you might be heard..." It was good advice then and it still is. Show up. When there's a goal you're working on and an opportunity appears to advance that goal -- show up. When changes are being made that will affect you -- show up! When it matters to you -- show up. You won't always get what you want by showing up, but you never will if you don't! -- doug smith

The Problem With Compromises

Think about the last time you compromised on something. Whether it was a big compromise or a little compromise, how do you feel about it now? While we often call it "meet in the middle" it seldom does. Compromises are not automatically fair, no matter how implied that fairness is. Someone usually gets more out of a compromise than the person they are "compromising" with. If the low end is you, you don't like it -- and you remember that. If the top end of the compromise is you, you probably forget all about it even though the inequity simmers in the background. Compromises must be constantly revisited because they are inevitably unfair. If you get the chance to balance things out, your relationship will prosper. If you miss that chance, the relationship will suffer. What's your choice? -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership Combination

We can rationalize anything without making it justified. Leaders should always ask: who is this good for other than me? High performance leadership does NOT mean performance at any cost. It means performance that serves a noble cause while also benefiting people. High performance leadership is a combination. Results without relationships are shallow and temporary. Take care of both, and you'll be a high performance leader. -- doug smith

Decide

What do you want? Are you getting what you want? Intention is direction. Decide. And, then go. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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