Conflict to Build

How can conflict build relationships?

Truly important relationships are at some time tested. Difficulties, troubles, sickness, challenges, all face a relationship with the possibility of creating a wedge -- or a bridge. Some of my longest term and deepest friendships have been with people I didn't get along with at first. We disagreed passionately, and yet learned to respect each other.

Centered leaders see conflict as a way to build, rather than harm relationships.

Conflict shows our true character. Conflict heats our emotions, raises the stakes, and creates a new focus on our performance. When we feel ourselves in conflict, we can do these things to hold compassionately to the relationship:

Clarify the information you have. Often conflict is a misunderstanding
Ask detailed questions and listen with your head AND your heart
Identify what people really need in the situation. It may not be what they're asking for
Center yourself -- find your sense of balance, harmony and control. Be the calm within the storm.
Reach out to those you disagree with and find the things you hold in common.
Separate issues from your feelings

What else could you do?

If we think of conflict as an opportunity to build, perhaps we can save ourselves from harming our most important relationships.

What's your plan for handling conflict in the future?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

http://frontrangeleadership.com

Solving Problems | Improving Performance | Achieving Your Goals

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