How To Explore The Tough Questions

How are you at asking the tough questions?

As a leader, much of your job is in asking the tough questions. This differentiates leaders in a big way. By ducking the big questions, conflicts remain unresolved. Hidden agendas remain hidden. Team coherence suffers when too much is kept secret. People start acting in ways that are counter-productive and misguided because the lack of clarity has taken away the guidance they seek.

Sometimes we need to ask the tough questions.

Who should a leader ask the tough questions?

- Team members

- Peers

- Leaders above

- Constituents all around you

- Customers

- Regulators

- Even the competition

What are the tough questions?

The tough questions are those you probably already know but may feel uncomfortable asking:

- What's going on?

- How are you in that big project?

- Where are you in achieving those goals?

- What will you do if your resources come up short?

- Where will next year's customers come from?

... and many, many more. The tough questions have no easy answers and usually involve more work. But the questions and the issues are there whether or not you know about it. Whether or not you know what they're thinking, they're still thinking what they're thinking.

Centered leaders don't back away from the tough questions.

Centered leaders explore tough questions with courage and compassion -

the courage to raise a difficult issue and face it head on
the compassion to listen thoroughly to the views of others and delay reaching conclusions on their content or their character.

Look at your conversational partner with respect. Listen carefully to what they have to say. Hold off on judging them so that you can learn all of the relevant facts and feelings by asking every question you need to ask. See where they're at, and ask what they would do next.

It could possibly be the biggest and best thing you do as a leader this week. When will you start?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Learn more in the workshop: Communicating for Results

Comments

Let Them See You Work

If you can't seem to hire good performers with a solid work ethic, you might need to develop them. Maybe start by showing them what that looks like, or as John Maxwell has said "Know the way, show the way, and go the way." You know, walk the talk. I know a LOT of leaders who complain about work ethic. Maybe they need to let their people see them work... -- doug smith

Leadership Warning

If you visit the dark side, don't get stuck there. -- doug smith

Careful Expectations

Change agents don't always play by the rules. Expecting them to is the act of a fool. -- doug smith

Celebrate Progress

When was the last time that you were frustrated in trying to learn something? If you can't remember, maybe it's time to learn something new -- something tough and challenging. Truly worthwhile endeavors are often struggles. The satisfaction comes not only in the final result, but also in the progress toward that final result. The best way to avoid a sad let-down once a goal is achieved is to enjoy the journey all the way thru. Celebrate your progress! Not so much that you feel finished, but enough so that you feel able. Celebrate progress, and then keep on progressing. As that beat poet and philosopher Harry X. Tudas once said, "Feel in the groove but continue to improve." -- doug smith

Start Positive

I went thru a grumpy period in my life. It was like a rut that was so deep no light could get in. It fed on its own bumpy grumpiness until that's all I could feel. Yuck. Forget that now. Now, I start with a positive thought. I could be wrong about finding the silver lining, but I've learned that I won't see the silver lining unless I look for it, and that's the place to start. Even the smallest positive effort has a positive impact. Let's start there. -- doug smith

Freedom and Responsibility

Freedom without responsibility produces more harm than good. Responsibility without freedom sparks certain revolution. High performance leaders don't FIND the balance, they CREATE the balance. Start by listening. -- doug smith

Feedback Takes Practice

How good are you at providing feedback? If you're not sure, ask your team members. If you are good at it, they'll tell you. If you're not good at it, then maybe they will and maybe they won't. Feedback does not come easy. Skillful, useful feedback that improves both performance AND self-esteem is a delicate balance of recognizing positives and occasionally providing insights on areas of improvement -- all placed into the context of why it matters. Without the "why" -- why the feedback matters, why the improvement matters, why the performance matters, all the feedback you can muster will only fluster whoever you provide it to. Tell them what they did that was great, ask how they could make it even greater, and share with them why it all makes a difference. Because unless it really makes a difference who cares? Feedback, like any skill, takes practice. -- doug smith

Courageous Creativity!

Others might fear your creativity, but you don't need to. Stay courageous, stay creative, stay compassionate, stay clear. Sing your song no matter who listens! -- doug smith

Keep Going

Obvious, yet essential: The closer you get to a goal the less distance you have to go. Keep going. -- doug smith

Keep Growing

Photo by Brian Miller How do you handle setbacks? I've had some big setbacks lately, mainly on the interpersonal side of my life, and I'm rolling with them. Evolving. Growing. But growing can hurt, and before you get to the top of the soil the garden looks really dark. Keep growing. Challenges I've never expected have emerged, pushing and shoving me around like some stranger in a subway. The tunnel is long and dark and cold. Keep growing. Work waits to keep some level of focus. Friends call and help. Crap keeps flying and even Facebook feels like a persecution chamber when things have turned against me. But I remember... Keep growing. Life's most difficult moments are not requested. We don't savor them. We don't celebrate them. But given the awareness to discover what led us to this point and what we can learn, we can grow. Keep growing. I'm hoping you are having a great week my friend. I'm hoping that you are learning and achievi

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