How To Explore The Tough Questions

How are you at asking the tough questions?

As a leader, much of your job is in asking the tough questions. This differentiates leaders in a big way. By ducking the big questions, conflicts remain unresolved. Hidden agendas remain hidden. Team coherence suffers when too much is kept secret. People start acting in ways that are counter-productive and misguided because the lack of clarity has taken away the guidance they seek.

Sometimes we need to ask the tough questions.

Who should a leader ask the tough questions?

- Team members

- Peers

- Leaders above

- Constituents all around you

- Customers

- Regulators

- Even the competition

What are the tough questions?

The tough questions are those you probably already know but may feel uncomfortable asking:

- What's going on?

- How are you in that big project?

- Where are you in achieving those goals?

- What will you do if your resources come up short?

- Where will next year's customers come from?

... and many, many more. The tough questions have no easy answers and usually involve more work. But the questions and the issues are there whether or not you know about it. Whether or not you know what they're thinking, they're still thinking what they're thinking.

Centered leaders don't back away from the tough questions.

Centered leaders explore tough questions with courage and compassion -

the courage to raise a difficult issue and face it head on
the compassion to listen thoroughly to the views of others and delay reaching conclusions on their content or their character.

Look at your conversational partner with respect. Listen carefully to what they have to say. Hold off on judging them so that you can learn all of the relevant facts and feelings by asking every question you need to ask. See where they're at, and ask what they would do next.

It could possibly be the biggest and best thing you do as a leader this week. When will you start?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Learn more in the workshop: Communicating for Results

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Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

What You Need

Use what you've learned to become what you need. -- doug smith

New Ideas

New ideas won't break you but they can make you bigger. -- doug smith

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Decide

What do you want? Are you getting what you want? Intention is direction. Decide. And, then go. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership Combination

We can rationalize anything without making it justified. Leaders should always ask: who is this good for other than me? High performance leadership does NOT mean performance at any cost. It means performance that serves a noble cause while also benefiting people. High performance leadership is a combination. Results without relationships are shallow and temporary. Take care of both, and you'll be a high performance leader. -- doug smith

Start With Kindness

When you start with kindness you don't have to stay there, but you probably will. It works better for others. It works better for you. If you're human, you'll probably relapse. It does take practice to stay the course. The course starts by starting. When you start with kindness, it becomes more naturally the way. High performance leadership develops from the core leadership strengths of clarity, creativity, courage, and compassion. Build one of those strengths today thru some act of kindness and the others will get stronger as well. -- doug smith

The Problem With Compromises

Think about the last time you compromised on something. Whether it was a big compromise or a little compromise, how do you feel about it now? While we often call it "meet in the middle" it seldom does. Compromises are not automatically fair, no matter how implied that fairness is. Someone usually gets more out of a compromise than the person they are "compromising" with. If the low end is you, you don't like it -- and you remember that. If the top end of the compromise is you, you probably forget all about it even though the inequity simmers in the background. Compromises must be constantly revisited because they are inevitably unfair. If you get the chance to balance things out, your relationship will prosper. If you miss that chance, the relationship will suffer. What's your choice? -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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