Plan Important Conversations

How many conversations have you taken the time to plan today?

Leaders conduct highly important conversations. While we can sometimes do that on the fly, what about those conversations that require deeper thinking? What about those conversations when the people we want to be most communicative with resist our thinking or our message?

Those deeper conversations benefit from planning.

What do we plan? Here are some areas of planning that I've found useful:

The goal of the conversation - Is it just to touch base? Are you trying to influence the other person? Do you need to reach agreement on a next action? Be sure to set a goal (I'd recommend a goal with these three elements: an action word, the result that you want, and the time involved).
Transition time - It's often jarring to be thrust into a conversation unexpectedly. Create some transitional topic or ice-breaker to transition into your deeper conversation. Small talk works here, but make it more personal than the weather or the latest sports outcome.
Agreements - part of my CLUES to Success formula for building great conversations is creating agreements. These can be simple but don't skip them. What kind of agreements? For example, how long the conversation will last, where the conversation will take place, how you'd like to interact (my favorite is "respect each other") and what 's the goal.

Here's those CLUES to Success;

Create agreements

Listen with curiosity

Understand the facts and feelings

Express yourself clearly and positively

Share responsibility for success

Not only are these effective as part of your conversation, but you could make them your agreements during the conversation. Even if it feels awkward at first, the more people are exposed to and practice these CLUES to Success the more likely they are to utilize them productively. And, when they are used productivity there's no limit to what you can accomplish in a shared dialogue.

Do you plan your conversations? Should you plan your next important, deeper conversation?

--- Doug Smith

Comments

Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

New Ideas

New ideas won't break you but they can make you bigger. -- doug smith

What You Need

Use what you've learned to become what you need. -- doug smith

Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Show Up!

"You've got to be there. Big decisions are being made!" my former boss told me a long time ago. "If your voice is in the room you might be heard..." It was good advice then and it still is. Show up. When there's a goal you're working on and an opportunity appears to advance that goal -- show up. When changes are being made that will affect you -- show up! When it matters to you -- show up. You won't always get what you want by showing up, but you never will if you don't! -- doug smith

The Problem With Compromises

Think about the last time you compromised on something. Whether it was a big compromise or a little compromise, how do you feel about it now? While we often call it "meet in the middle" it seldom does. Compromises are not automatically fair, no matter how implied that fairness is. Someone usually gets more out of a compromise than the person they are "compromising" with. If the low end is you, you don't like it -- and you remember that. If the top end of the compromise is you, you probably forget all about it even though the inequity simmers in the background. Compromises must be constantly revisited because they are inevitably unfair. If you get the chance to balance things out, your relationship will prosper. If you miss that chance, the relationship will suffer. What's your choice? -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership Combination

We can rationalize anything without making it justified. Leaders should always ask: who is this good for other than me? High performance leadership does NOT mean performance at any cost. It means performance that serves a noble cause while also benefiting people. High performance leadership is a combination. Results without relationships are shallow and temporary. Take care of both, and you'll be a high performance leader. -- doug smith

Decide

What do you want? Are you getting what you want? Intention is direction. Decide. And, then go. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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