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Love The Person and Fix the Problem

Photo by L. Scott Force
How are you at fixing people?

I've discovered that I'm not very good at fixing people. Whether or not they are broken, there's not much that I can do to fix people.

But problems are very different. Problems are caused by things that can be changed. Problems are caused by what we've done, are doing, or have created. As Dean Gano points out, problems tend to be caused by either conditions or actions. Discovering what those conditions and/or are and changing them is not only easier than changing people -- it's the better way to solve the problem.

People are in the mix. People do the actions that might be causing the problem, or create the conditions that may have created the problem. But changing people usually fails and frustrates everyone concerned. Changing actions or conditions is the way to go.

It takes patience. People might not want to change anything at all, and may need to be convinced. But they don't need to be changed -- we only need to change what they do.

As they resist (and they will) or persist (in undesired behaviors) we'll need to be patient. We'll need to focus on the things that can and should be changed. And, we'll need to remind our expectations that people seldom get it right the first time. That doesn't make them bad -- it makes them human.

Our job is simple: love the person and fix the problem.

Are you willing?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Front range Leadership: High Performance Leadership Training

doug smith training: how to achieve your goals




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