Love The Person and Fix the Problem

Photo by L. Scott Force

How are you at fixing people?

I've discovered that I'm not very good at fixing people. Whether or not they are broken, there's not much that I can do to fix people.

But problems are very different. Problems are caused by things that can be changed. Problems are caused by what we've done, are doing, or have created. As Dean Gano points out, problems tend to be caused by either conditions or actions. Discovering what those conditions and/or are and changing them is not only easier than changing people -- it's the better way to solve the problem.

People are in the mix. People do the actions that might be causing the problem, or create the conditions that may have created the problem. But changing people usually fails and frustrates everyone concerned. Changing actions or conditions is the way to go.

It takes patience. People might not want to change anything at all, and may need to be convinced. But they don't need to be changed -- we only need to change what they do.

As they resist (and they will) or persist (in undesired behaviors) we'll need to be patient. We'll need to focus on the things that can and should be changed. And, we'll need to remind our expectations that people seldom get it right the first time. That doesn't make them bad -- it makes them human.

Our job is simple: love the person and fix the problem.

Are you willing?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Front range Leadership: High Performance Leadership Training

doug smith training: how to achieve your goals

Comments

Let Them See You Work

If you can't seem to hire good performers with a solid work ethic, you might need to develop them. Maybe start by showing them what that looks like, or as John Maxwell has said "Know the way, show the way, and go the way." You know, walk the talk. I know a LOT of leaders who complain about work ethic. Maybe they need to let their people see them work... -- doug smith

Leadership Warning

If you visit the dark side, don't get stuck there. -- doug smith

Careful Expectations

Change agents don't always play by the rules. Expecting them to is the act of a fool. -- doug smith

Celebrate Progress

When was the last time that you were frustrated in trying to learn something? If you can't remember, maybe it's time to learn something new -- something tough and challenging. Truly worthwhile endeavors are often struggles. The satisfaction comes not only in the final result, but also in the progress toward that final result. The best way to avoid a sad let-down once a goal is achieved is to enjoy the journey all the way thru. Celebrate your progress! Not so much that you feel finished, but enough so that you feel able. Celebrate progress, and then keep on progressing. As that beat poet and philosopher Harry X. Tudas once said, "Feel in the groove but continue to improve." -- doug smith

Start Positive

I went thru a grumpy period in my life. It was like a rut that was so deep no light could get in. It fed on its own bumpy grumpiness until that's all I could feel. Yuck. Forget that now. Now, I start with a positive thought. I could be wrong about finding the silver lining, but I've learned that I won't see the silver lining unless I look for it, and that's the place to start. Even the smallest positive effort has a positive impact. Let's start there. -- doug smith

Freedom and Responsibility

Freedom without responsibility produces more harm than good. Responsibility without freedom sparks certain revolution. High performance leaders don't FIND the balance, they CREATE the balance. Start by listening. -- doug smith

Feedback Takes Practice

How good are you at providing feedback? If you're not sure, ask your team members. If you are good at it, they'll tell you. If you're not good at it, then maybe they will and maybe they won't. Feedback does not come easy. Skillful, useful feedback that improves both performance AND self-esteem is a delicate balance of recognizing positives and occasionally providing insights on areas of improvement -- all placed into the context of why it matters. Without the "why" -- why the feedback matters, why the improvement matters, why the performance matters, all the feedback you can muster will only fluster whoever you provide it to. Tell them what they did that was great, ask how they could make it even greater, and share with them why it all makes a difference. Because unless it really makes a difference who cares? Feedback, like any skill, takes practice. -- doug smith

Courageous Creativity!

Others might fear your creativity, but you don't need to. Stay courageous, stay creative, stay compassionate, stay clear. Sing your song no matter who listens! -- doug smith

Keep Going

Obvious, yet essential: The closer you get to a goal the less distance you have to go. Keep going. -- doug smith

Step Up Creatively

How's your creativity doing today? We all have days that are more creative than others. If we're not careful and if we let the non-creative days become routine it can squeeze the creativity right out of our lives. Suddenly we stop drawing, stop paining, stop writing, stop exploring fun conversations, stop doing the extraordinary. Let's not let that happen. We're more creative than that. Sometimes when we feel the least creative we need to be the most creative. Overcome the routine. Break out of the rut. Draw anything. Draw it again, better. Write a poem about anything - then write it again with a deeper meaning. Force yourself out of the mundane. Imagine yourself in a room with five of the most people you can think of. You wouldn't want to be the lump on the log who sits there doing nothing creative, would you? You need never be that person. Creativity is always there for the developing. We just need to disconnect from the routine and reconnect to that chi

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