Speak Up and Listen

Do you enjoy getting the "silent treatment" from someone when you're in a problem situation or conflict?

You probably know the feeling - someone has something to say but they won't tell you. They won't talk. Maybe they'll make the little artificial small talk efforts but keep the deeper stuff buried within. How do you get deeper? How do you find out what's going on?

When we have a problem we need to get to the core of what's going on. We need to discover the root causes of our discomfort. Especially when people are involved and you have no instruments to measure the results. It's all perceived, or deceived, or received through misunderstandings and filters. We can do better than that.

We can stay curious. We can ask questions. We can practice a centered silence that allows whatever the other person is feeling to emerge without danger. When we are open to receiving a message the message is much more likely to arrive.

Ask. Listen. Wait.

Patience takes patience to develop, which is why it's so rare. We develop it like a muscle, a little at a time. Try too heavy a load and it stops trying. Ease into it, develop it, let it grow with you and it's yours to keep. Patiently.

Few things deepen a problem more than silence.

But the silence you allow can grow into understanding. The silence you support, in patience waiting for the silence to break, might be the breakthrough you've been waiting for.

Can you be that patient?

How can you practice your patience today? What silence do you need to break?

-- Doug Smith

Front Range Leadership: High performance leadership training

doug smith training: how to achieve your goals

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