Add a Touch of Kindness

What would your customers say about you, as a company and as a person?

Would the words "kind" or "compassionate" be a part of their description?

Think about a person you know who you would describe as kind. Whatever is is that they do for a living, what is it that makes them kind, or compassionate?

Is it the way they show that they care? Is it the way that they listen to you, even when you know you might be babbling just a little or way off base? Or maybe is it the way that they lightly touch you by the hand -- on your shoulder or on your back in a non-threatening willingness to feel and to help?

We can all be more kind. We can all be more compassionate. When I think of those who have been most kind in my life they just happen to be those who are also the most trustworthy. Their agenda has always been open and gentle: simply to help. It's the nurse at the glass factory who dressed my cut and sent me back to work not with judgment but with encouragement. It's the baseball coach who patted me on the back with a word of encouragement when I struck out with the bases loaded. It's my partner sitting by my bedside before some nervous eye surgery.

Kindness is a limitless resource. We can bring it to our lives and the lives of others in millions of meaningful ways.

Whatever your product or service, make kindness the leading ingredient.

I think you'll like the results -- and be making a better world for others in the process.

What moments of kindness in your life do you remember? How could you thank those people today?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

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Learn Constantly No Matter How Annoying It Is

Some things that annoy us the most grow us the most. I never asked for some of my biggest lessons. I probably didn't ask for any of them. They hurt. They bruised. They provoked anxiety. They made me sweat. But I learned. I learned that people need lots of attention. That sending an email isn't enough. That a handshake (and even a kiss) doesn't mean that a deal won't ever be broken. That broken promises (especially when a kiss IS involved) are the hardest lessons to take. We go on. We strive forward. We learn. We forgive. I am annoyed by big lessons. My ex-wife once gave me a little present that was a miniature traffic cone with the words "Oh no, not another learning opportunity!" on it. That about sums it up: not right now please, I'd rather not get that lesson. We don't always get to pick the timing, but we do get to decide whether or not we learn from those things that annoy us. Things like the team member who isn't finishing the import...

Mistakes Don't Care

I can't erase my mistakes, how about you? I've learned that mistakes don't care how we feel about them. We do have a choice, though. That is the choice of whether or not we learn from those mistakes. It helps to talk about them. It helps to analyze what went wrong. Eventually, though, we must move on. We live with our mistakes, whether we want to or not. Why not get over it, and move on? -- Doug Smith

Leading Relationships

While looking for something else, l found this quote: "Appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading, Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt." -- Virginia Satir It reminded me that part of a leader's role is in leading relationships. That's not the same as directing or controlling them. Leading relationships has more to do with taking personal responsibility for what you bring to a relationship -- whether that's at work, in the community, at home...anywhere. Relationships can not be taken for granted. To truly lead, we must remain attentive to the kinds of relationships we are co-creating. Appreciate you without judging We don't always have the answer, but we usually think that we do. Effective leaders listen with their whole being. We bring our soul to the game. We wait to be touched before reaching out to correct. We appreciate and allow for differences. Courageous leaders correct dangerous situations, but hold ...

Compassion Does Not Require You To Be A Victim

Is it possible to be too compassionate? I suppose that it depends on what you mean by compassionate. Certainly, we owe it to other living beings (and I include all living beings in that, not just people) kindness, grace, caring, and working to create tolerable or better living conditions. We are fundamentally here to help others. But that does not mean that we need do anything anyone asks. We need not become a victim. Some people are in need beyond our capacity to provide that need. Some people take advantage of our desire to help. Some people (gasp!) simply can't be trusted. I come from a tradition of faith that says help anyway, and I believe that is best. Help anyway. Do what we can. But...and maybe I'm going out on a limb here...but not to the point of becoming a victim. Sometimes we must say no. Sometimes we must walk away. Compassion does not require foolishness. We are not required to surrender our selves when evil prevails. Please do not misunderstand me. I ...

Work That Plan!

"Constant and determined effort breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles." -- Claude M. Bristol I enjoy designing a plan to achieve a goal. Listing the tasks, estimating the times, scheduling them - that all appeals to my analytical side. Then comes the hard part: getting it done. But it's not really hard. It's one step at a time. One movement, one action, one call, one thing . At - a - time. Design a cool, appealing plan. And then, most importantly, act relentlessly on your plan. As Larry the Cable Guy says, "get -er done!" -- Doug Smith

No Complete Failure

"Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker." -- Zig Zigler You know that we can learn from our mistakes. You might also know that failure carries many valuable lessons. I like the expression that comes from NLP (Neurolistic Programing) "there is no failure, only feedback." There's always something to learn. Any effort that results in learning is not a complete failure. So it's up to us. While we would never choose to fail at anything (oh horrors!) sometimes we will. Whether we learn or not is completely up to us. Find the learning. Find the success. What have you learned today? -- Doug Smith

Should You Judge Ideas?

How did your last brainstorming session go? Having been thru tons of brainstorming sessions, I know that they don't always go well. Sometimes people judge ideas too soon. Sometimes people don't give themselves enough time to develop the best and most creative ideas. Sometimes, people settle for stupid ideas. Yes, we do need to generate lots of ideas. Yes, we do judge too much without letting our imaginations go wild. But, there does come a time when reason must rule. There does come a time when we must fall out of love with our ideas enough to see them for what they really are. Because, as a matter of fact, there IS such a thing as a stupid idea. And you wouldn't want to run with that, would you? -- Doug Smith

Is It Really Your Problem?

Just because someone tries to give you a problem doesn't make it yours. Leaders get shoved problems all the time. Because your good at solving things, people are inclined to help you with more work. Do you really want more work? One of the first jobs of a high performance leader is to develop the people on the team. Teach them to resolve conflict. Train them to solve problems. Help them achieve their goals (but don't achieve them for them). It takes more time. It takes more patience. It's the centered, high performance approach to leadership. Building your team frees you up to stay strategic. Building your team makes your team not only more effective but also happier. Isn't that what you want? So the next time you see a little reverse-delegation heading your way, cut it off at the pass. And pass it right back. -- Doug Smith

Roll With Your Creativity

You have a secret healing power. Sometimes you use it without even knowing it. If you're like me, you could use it even more. It's a power that heals each person and when we heal ourselves we are much better positioned to heal and help others. Creativity energy heals. Bring that creative energy out. Encourage your creativity. Avoid shutting it down when it inconveniently offers to embarrass you with a really wild idea. Roll with it way more often. When you've gotten to the point where people ask you what's gotten into you because you seem a little more wild and spontaneous than usual -- that's when you know you're on the right track. You're headed in a creative direction that will burst open the veil of constraints you think you see but is only a mirage. It's all available. The possibilities are endless. Creativity rocks. Might as well roll with it. -- Doug Smith

That Awesome Gift of Listening

"The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen." -- Roy Moody How would your work and your life be different if everyone you encountered listened carefully, compassionately, and attentively to each other? It seems so simple, yet it's not. Listening takes focus. Listening takes attention. Listening positively takes curiosity. How curious are you when you listen? Here's what I'm working on: listening without judging. I remember a time when I had an answer to every question, an opinion to every view, and something to say in any situation. I wasn't wise enough to know that smart wasn't always enough. We need to listen. Listening is a gift as profound as any you might give today. Who will you give that free yet awesome gift? -- Doug Smith

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