Fix the Problem, Not the Person

How are you at fixing people?

Me, either. People are tough to fix, mainly because they usually are not broken. Something simply stands in the way of where they are and their most effective actions. Sometimes, we're even the thing standing in the way and don't know it.

Sometimes it looks like another person is the problem, or at least the cause of the problem. The temptation gets stronger then to solve the problem by fixing the person, or insisting that they fix themselves. That seldom works.

We do not solve our problems by attacking other people.

That makes the problem bigger and harms the relationship. Centered problem solvers take time to carefully analyze the source of the problem and they involve related people in that process. Because while it's hard to fix people -- those very same people you might be tempted to fix are often the best source of help in solving the problem. The key is aligning them, not maligning them.

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Interested in solving more problems? Bring our Centered Problem Solving workshop to your location and see what a huge impact it can have in your team.

Comments

A Promise or A Plan?

Which would you rather have -- a promise, or a plan? I love promises. When some people make a promise to me I know that it is as good as done. They are reliable, trustworthy, hard-working creative people who keep their promises. I'll take a promise from them any day. Promises can be problematic sometimes, though. Some people are not so skilled or willing to keep their promises. They may make a promise to move forward in the conversation (possibly because the conversation is deep enough to cause some discomfort) and yet have no intention of keeping that promise. That's not helpful. That's not what centered leaders are looking for. That's not how centered problem solvers operate. Promises are great and I'm also interested in the plan. What exactly are they promising to do and when will they do it? What's the plan? Picking a promise over a plan is a risky way to solve a problem. Problems respond better to the actions completed in a careful and thorough

The Benefits of Supervisory Training

When was the last time you had any leadership training? How often do the supervisors in your organization get training? If you are like most organizations, it's never enough. Some teams go without any supervisory training at all and expect supervisors and managers to learn as they go, on the job. Unfortunately, while it is memorable to learn from your mistakes, it comes at a high cost. People get tired. People leave. Important accounts go away. Customers complain. And teams struggle without the skills and knowledge it takes to build cohesive teams that are capable of solving problems, improving performance and achieving goals. Admittedly, I can be expected to support training since I'm in the business. Still, take a closer look at your own leadership career and decide for yourself. Are leaders better off with more training and development or with less? Supervisory training can generate benefits that pay off long after the training is over. Here are just a few of the things sup

When To Dance?

Have you ever danced to a tune you didn't like? Maybe it was at a wedding, or a holiday gathering, or a nightclub, or some other place. Dancing was around you and so you danced. Dancing is usually a choice. Unless it is against your belief system (as a child I remember people in my family who thought that dancing was a sin) dancing is on the whole more beneficial than difficult. I used to believe that I was a good dancer -- until my partner broke up with me and I discovered that SHE was the good dancer, so good that she makes anyone she dances with look like a better dancer (even me). And yet, still I dance. I remember the celebration dinner for a project that I worked on when the president of the company joined the rest of us on the dance floor to do a fun line dance. I'll admit, he danced better than me. For one of the programs that I teach I offer the participants the opportunity to dance in a brief virtual dance party. Some people do (and seem to enjoy it) and some people

Helping People Change

Resistance to change is our most natural and unproductive impulse. Helping people thru that change changes their lives positively. It's s something that high performance leaders do. -- doug smith

How to Embrace Criticism

Taking a very long walk. Do you ever feel like simply avoiding some feedback that's headed your way? Sometimes I'd rather have someone keep their opinion to themselves. If they're not happy, if they are sounding judgmental, if they have a frowny face. Wouldn't be easier if they just kept quiet? Easier in that moment. And, sometimes maybe it's even the best thing possible if a harsh critic keeps a damaging opinion private. But I've also learned that sometimes the toughest message is what I truly need to hear in order to learn. Just because I don't like criticism doesn't mean it isn't good for me. I just might need to take a good long afterwards. How about you? Here's how to embrace criticism: Remember, they could be wrong. As my friend Dr. Jay Desko has said, "feedback says more about the person providing the feedback than it does about you." Stay curious. There is probably something useful to learn. Remember that a

Dump Anonymous Feedback

What's the problem with anonymous feedback? The list is long. When people can say anything they want, without any accountability, they are sometimes rude. The feedback becomes exaggerated. Not knowing what to do with it (who do you try to please?) it frustrates the person receiving the feedback. Anonymous feedback encourages anti-social comments. It opens up a level of venting that is not healthy for either party. And, rather than building relationships, it tears them down. The best place for anonymous feedback is the garbage. It's too easy to be negative when no one knows who you are. Hold people accountable. Teach them that two-way communication is responsible, respectable, and useful. Let's keep the trash talking on the basketball court and build relationships of worth at work. -- Doug Smith

Change Quickly

How are you at keeping up? Change is so rapid that adjusting, and evolving, has become a full time job. We roll with the changes, we drive new changes, we let go of the old. It's not getting easier, and it's getting faster. I work at it. I keep learning. I keep adjusting, and still... By the time I have it figured out it's time to try something else. Instead of getting frustrated, here's how I like to look at it: change is growth. Faster change is faster growth. Getting better is growth, so the more change the better. Are you with me on that? Because the alternative is slow-motion decay, and we don't want that, do we? -- Douglas Brent Smith

Tough and Tender

It's better to be considered tough and show up tender than to be thought tender and show up tough. -- doug smith

Make the Hard Choices

Are you faced with a hard choice? A hard choice is one we don't want to make, and yet realize that sooner or later we need to. It could be making that big career change. It could be ending a destructive relationship. It could be selling that car that costs too much to keep repairing. Make the choice. Moving on is the direction of growth. Gathering the facts, discovering the reality of the situation, and making the choice is the way to go. We might need to get creative to do it. It may take all of our creative juice just to figure out a better way, but there is always a better way. A creative act may close a door or two but it will soon open thousands of possibilities. And possibilities are what we want. Positive, energized, growing possibilities. This all becomes easier when our goals are clear. When we know where we're headed -- and we're willing to do the hard work it takes to get there -- any distraction is more easily exposed. Choices become more clear. Make

Is Micro-Management Ever The Answer?

I found something I'd never seen before in a job ad today. It's something to think about. Listed as a job requirement, it said that the job candidate must have: "The ability and personality type to work in a micro - managed environment until you have built up a trust level with the people you support." What kind of work environment does that imply? It certainly gets points for honesty. Any new hire will know exactly what to expect: specific instructions, close direction, careful follow-up, and tight requirements. But wait -- while a seasoned professional might not need that level of micro-management, and while transformational, participative leaders allow lots of autonomy and choice, let's consider the needs of a new employee. Someone new to an organization may not be ready for unsupervised decision making because they're too busy adjusting to the culture, learning the job, creating new relationships, practicing new skills, and doing important tasks. Maybe

High Performance Leadership

Search This Blog