Take Your Own Advice

This is a tough question, and when I ask myself sometimes I don't like the answer: do you ever ignore your own advice?

I train people in leadership skills. One of the skills includes communication. I encourage people to identify, plan, initiate, and follow-thru on tough conversations. You know what I mean - the kinds of conversations that make us nervous. It takes courage, confidence, and focus to see them thru. But it's so important, conducting those tough conversations is at the heart of effective high performance leadership.

But sometimes I duck them myself. Whoa. Sometimes, I know I have a tough conversation that is needed with someone that I work with, work for, or live with and then...and then...suddenly I get so busy with other important stuff that the conversation misses its window of opportunity. Could that be a mistake? From my experience I'd say that is always a mistake.

I've learned to have the tough conversations, whether they are comfortable or not, whether I have time or not, whether I even want to or not. It's my advice, and I've learned to take it. Why don't I always follow that advice?

No excuses. No justification. But, I'm human. You're human. We're human. We're going to continue to make mistakes, even when we know better.

We can grow. We will improve. Perfection though, that's for the imagination. Even machines break down. Even computers cough up a metaphorical hairball once in a while.

I don't beat myself up about it and neither should you. But lets do face our limitations and if we need coaching or encouragement, find it.

I find it hardest to apply my own advice sometimes. But I'm getting better. How about you?

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Let Them See You Work

If you can't seem to hire good performers with a solid work ethic, you might need to develop them. Maybe start by showing them what that looks like, or as John Maxwell has said "Know the way, show the way, and go the way." You know, walk the talk. I know a LOT of leaders who complain about work ethic. Maybe they need to let their people see them work... -- doug smith

Leadership Warning

If you visit the dark side, don't get stuck there. -- doug smith

Careful Expectations

Change agents don't always play by the rules. Expecting them to is the act of a fool. -- doug smith

Celebrate Progress

When was the last time that you were frustrated in trying to learn something? If you can't remember, maybe it's time to learn something new -- something tough and challenging. Truly worthwhile endeavors are often struggles. The satisfaction comes not only in the final result, but also in the progress toward that final result. The best way to avoid a sad let-down once a goal is achieved is to enjoy the journey all the way thru. Celebrate your progress! Not so much that you feel finished, but enough so that you feel able. Celebrate progress, and then keep on progressing. As that beat poet and philosopher Harry X. Tudas once said, "Feel in the groove but continue to improve." -- doug smith

Start Positive

I went thru a grumpy period in my life. It was like a rut that was so deep no light could get in. It fed on its own bumpy grumpiness until that's all I could feel. Yuck. Forget that now. Now, I start with a positive thought. I could be wrong about finding the silver lining, but I've learned that I won't see the silver lining unless I look for it, and that's the place to start. Even the smallest positive effort has a positive impact. Let's start there. -- doug smith

Freedom and Responsibility

Freedom without responsibility produces more harm than good. Responsibility without freedom sparks certain revolution. High performance leaders don't FIND the balance, they CREATE the balance. Start by listening. -- doug smith

Feedback Takes Practice

How good are you at providing feedback? If you're not sure, ask your team members. If you are good at it, they'll tell you. If you're not good at it, then maybe they will and maybe they won't. Feedback does not come easy. Skillful, useful feedback that improves both performance AND self-esteem is a delicate balance of recognizing positives and occasionally providing insights on areas of improvement -- all placed into the context of why it matters. Without the "why" -- why the feedback matters, why the improvement matters, why the performance matters, all the feedback you can muster will only fluster whoever you provide it to. Tell them what they did that was great, ask how they could make it even greater, and share with them why it all makes a difference. Because unless it really makes a difference who cares? Feedback, like any skill, takes practice. -- doug smith

Courageous Creativity!

Others might fear your creativity, but you don't need to. Stay courageous, stay creative, stay compassionate, stay clear. Sing your song no matter who listens! -- doug smith

Keep Going

Obvious, yet essential: The closer you get to a goal the less distance you have to go. Keep going. -- doug smith

Step Up Creatively

How's your creativity doing today? We all have days that are more creative than others. If we're not careful and if we let the non-creative days become routine it can squeeze the creativity right out of our lives. Suddenly we stop drawing, stop paining, stop writing, stop exploring fun conversations, stop doing the extraordinary. Let's not let that happen. We're more creative than that. Sometimes when we feel the least creative we need to be the most creative. Overcome the routine. Break out of the rut. Draw anything. Draw it again, better. Write a poem about anything - then write it again with a deeper meaning. Force yourself out of the mundane. Imagine yourself in a room with five of the most people you can think of. You wouldn't want to be the lump on the log who sits there doing nothing creative, would you? You need never be that person. Creativity is always there for the developing. We just need to disconnect from the routine and reconnect to that chi

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