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Playing the Game to Win


Are you competitive?

I am unreasonably competitive. I get so excited about winning that I can work thru vast amounts of trouble to achieve a goal. I've learned though, that while in sports it may be true, in most enterprises your goal does not need to be a zero sum game. You can win without creating any losers.

Because if anybody loses, it's not over. If anyone perceives that they were taken advantage of or abused or cheated -- or even if they just feel like they lost without a chance to get what they really wanted -- the struggle is not over. They'll be back. The conflict will rage on. Unless.

Unless when you win your opponent also wins. It does not take some imaginary Valhallo to achieve this. It starts with identifying what each person wants. What is the goal? Then, carefully, compassionately, courageously creating many alternatives. The more possibilities you can generate the better your chances are of a victory that won't sour your relationships.

You can play the game to win. When you do, why not increase the winner's circle to include everyone involved?

-- doug smith


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