Sometimes I keep it all to myself. That is seldom a good idea.
Better, far better, is to talk about it. Get it out. Share.
Listen, pause, think it over, speak.
Speak your mind, speak your heart, speak your peace.
Over the last few weeks, a number of "things" have come up in my life that one could call challenges.
I suppose if I was the world's greatest optimist,I could look at them as opportunities.
Trust me,I would really have to have an unrealistic view of life to consider these as anything close to an opportunity.
As days mount and become weeks, the stress level I am experiencing grows as well.
As I go through my day, I am preoccupied with the impact that this stuff is having and will have on my life moving forward.
Of course, without exploring exactly what all of these things mean to me, I am creating scenarios and outcomes based on fear,False Expectations Appearing Real.
In the last few days, I have taken the bold step of not being afraid of speaking to people about these issues I am experiencing.
I am not looking for sympathy or advice.
It just seems to help to bring it out in the open.
Sunlight is a marvelous thing.
Coming out of my self imposed darkness has a calming effect.
Things always appear worse in the dark.
Not that they are not real.
They just are what they are.
Talking about them helps.
We all know that talk is cheap.
Talk without an action plan is nothing more than expelling hot air.
Do you have all the answers yet? Are you finished learning? Of course not. Learning is a lifetime necessity, especially for leaders. Centered leaders learn constantly and apply what they learn to make things better. To solve problems. To achieve their goals. What we learn today can bring about a better tomorrow. Isn't that what you want, a better tomorrow? It can happen, but it's up to each of us. What will you do? What will you learn? What have you learned today? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership: Training Supervisors for Success doug smith training: how to achieve your goals
The essential question is "How can I help?" Whether you are the leader of thousands or completely on your own, your role on this planet is to help, to make things better. Usually, that means helping other people. Kings, rulers, athletes, artists, government officials, doctors, fire fighters, deli workers, mechanics, economists...we are all here to help. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes we feel the need to be served instead. But whatever the situation, no matter what the organization, high performance leaders know that their role is to help. Reflection Questions How can you be most helpful? What situations are you facing right now where you have not yet asked the question, "how can I help?" Who do you remember the most for being ready to jump in and find a way to help? How did they make you feel? How engaged and happy did they seem to be? Action Plan Within the next 24 hours, find a situation and ask yourself "how can I help?" ... and then...
What do you do when someone in your range of influence is angry? It can be discomforting. It can be disruptive. Anger is tough to handle under the best of circumstances. And yet, handle it we must. Centered, high performance leaders are careful about anger. Careful about their own anger and careful about their reactions to the anger of others. I had a boss once (a very long time ago) who told me that I had a problem with anger. That made me angry. The reaction to anger is sometimes defensiveness, sometimes fear, and sometimes (surprise!) more anger. Whatever our reaction, our bodies are usually poised for action. What we do in that moment of activation is critical to our success. If our life or emotional well-being is being threatened, that steers our direction. But usually, although it feels that way, we are not actually under any threat. So we must deal with anger productively. We must say what we want without blaming others for it not being there. We must listen with cur...
Many years ago when I was music director and touring with Child's Play Touring Theater we were putting together a show for children with a work-related theme. Children are often fascinated by jobs, by what their parents do, by what they see adults doing in the world. It was just one of hundreds of shows that we did, but I remember one song from that show that I wrote especially. The first verse was: there's a little bit of work to be done an American phenomenon there will always be a little bit of work to be done to be done, to be done, by everyone... I can't take credit for the lyrics because we used poems and stories written by children as the basis for our material. It was fun. And it reminds me today that what was true then is still true today. There's a little bit of work to be done. We have problems to solve. We have goals to achieve. High performance leaders are never finished. Even as I near retirement age (don't fret, my bills will keep ...
Why do we run away from the answer? Sometimes it's right there in front of us - the solution to our problem, and yet we turn away. It's a bad habit and one that keeps us from finding what we're looking for when it comes to solving a problem. The solution to your problem is looking for you -- you just need to stop running. Can you hear those footsteps? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership: High performance leadership training doug smith training: how to achieve your goals
When you find yourself locked in conflict, suspend your competitive edge long enough to discover what people in the conflict really want. For many of us, the natural reaction to conflict is to become more competitive. We prepare ourselves to fight to the finish and behave as if victory must be one sided (and of course, must be ours alone). As Doctors Thomas and Kilmann have pointed out in their influential work on conflict, we have more choices than that. We can always choose to compete if necessary. But first, what if there's an opportunity to build relationships? What if there's an opportunity to collaborate? Isn't it worth taking a moment to step back and find out? Breathe. Relax. Look at the situation from a more impartial distance. Ask meaningful questions with genuine curiosity and an open mind. It's that important. -- Doug Smith http://frontrangeleadership.com For a useful Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes Instrument in PDF form: http://www....
Have you ever said something incredibly critical about someone only to find out later that you were wrong? It's a tough situation for a leader. It can be embarrassing. You can find out that the person you criticized was correct in the long wrong and far more important to you than you'd ever realized. I've jumped to conclusions at times only to look for ways to jump back to where I'd started. The trouble is, there's no reverse gear to conclusion jumping. You get where you're headed, whether you like it there or not. As a result, I tell myself to pull back a little before making that jump. What does it mean to be truly centered? How do effective leaders make the best of their information, make intelligent choices, and avoid jumping to conclusions? Centered leaders clarify before criticizing. Ask questions. Listen carefully. Suspend judgement. Smile. Remember, it's almost never too late to criticize, if that's what you really wa...
We are the giants that are so dependable. We have risen from the ground,weathered the seasons and the storms. We stand tall against all skies, the bright blue ones and the ones that are grey and daunting. Yes my friend,we are as the mighty oaks. Beautiful and majestic and vital in a very special way. -- David Spiegel Do you have a mentor? Is there an older person in your life you trust who can guide you and coach you as you work on your goals? I've been fortunate enough to have worked with some strong and bold mentors. They haven't always been older than me. Sometimes a great mentor is younger than you, and when you get to be my age, it's highly likely than many younger people can provide expert advice, guidance, and coaching. In fact, most of the best coaching I receive now comes from people younger than me. Here's my point. Whether the guidance and feedback comes from someone older, younger, or the same point, don't disregard it. Think it over. Evaluate i...
Professional, patient, persistent, and powerful. Those are four traits worth focusing on as a leader. Combined with what it takes to be a centered leader (courage, compassion, creativity, and clarity) these four "p's" can drive a leader forward in performance and results. Are you professional? Paying attention to details, keeping an appropriate appearance for your line of work, meeting deadlines, installing quality, treating others as the professional you aspire to be -- these are all marks of leading as a professional. What would you add to the list? Are you patient? Leaders are often faced with difficult situations at exactly the wrong time. Without surrendering to lower standards, leaders must remain patient with people and circumstances. How else should leaders demonstrate patience? Are you persistent? Patience begs persistence. While high performance leaders have the capacity to remain patient under stress, they are also doggedly persistent. Nothing should stand in t...
Over the last few weeks, a number of "things" have come up in my life that one could call challenges.
ReplyDeleteI suppose if I was the world's greatest optimist,I could look at them as opportunities.
Trust me,I would really have to have an unrealistic view of life to consider these as anything close to an opportunity.
As days mount and become weeks, the stress level I am experiencing grows as well.
As I go through my day, I am preoccupied with the impact that this stuff is having and will have on my life moving forward.
Of course, without exploring exactly what all of these things mean to me, I am creating scenarios and outcomes based on fear,False Expectations Appearing Real.
In the last few days, I have taken the bold step of not being afraid of speaking to people about these issues I am experiencing.
I am not looking for sympathy or advice.
It just seems to help to bring it out in the open.
Sunlight is a marvelous thing.
Coming out of my self imposed darkness has a calming effect.
Things always appear worse in the dark.
Not that they are not real.
They just are what they are.
Talking about them helps.
We all know that talk is cheap.
Talk without an action plan is nothing more than expelling hot air.
Still, silence is dreadfully stressful.
Things are what they are.
Deal with them.
Then,move on!
Just that easy.
Thanks for listening!