Help Your Enemy?

"When I make my enemy my friend have I not destroyed my enemy?"
-- Abraham Lincoln

Do you have any enemies?

Enemies are hard to deal with. They oppose us. They demonize us. They violate our values and breech our assumptions of peace and healthfulness. They stand in the way. They do us harm.

I do hope you aren't experiencing enemies of that nature. But many people are. What's to be done?

We so often select violence as the solution and yet, how has that worked so far? Any violent solution to an enemy problem simply sows the seeds for future conflict and more enemies.

We can't fight our way out of a fight.

An enemy does not need your help to find a reason to oppose you. They will develop reasons of their own. Challenging those reasons, opposing those view points simply fuel the enmity.

Work the relationship not the reason.

Not easy. Not always possible at first view. Seldom safe. But what if we stayed truly curious about what is going on? What if we listened carefully to the viewpoints of those we seem to disagree with?

I'm not saying to roll over and let the enemy have their way. We must still be strong. We must still show courage. But we could do with some compassion as well.

Fighting escalates more fighting. Getting to know people, respecting their worth as a person (even if they do not appear to deserve it) and forgiving with courage and resolve (not cowardice and capitulation) will take time but in the end do more good and less harm.

Which abrasive relationship of yours do you need to improve? What's your first step?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Front Range Leadership

Solving Problems | Achieving Your Goals

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