Make More Friends from Your Enemies

Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying "When I make my enemy my friend have I not destroyed my enemy?"

It's a powerful message, filled with controversy and risk. How do I trust my enemy? Start. How can I keep myself safe? Stay courageous while developing compassion. Stay true to your values while staying curious to the voice of your opposition. Expand your boundaries while also protecting them.

It's no secret that high performance leaders must embrace a sense of paradox. Things are not always what they seem, and we are constantly defining and redefining them. Our filters are thick. Permeating our self-imposed filters can lead to better relationships.

Where do we start?

Find something to admire in your enemy and you're on the road to becoming a friend.

It may be a long road. It may be filled with bumps and hazards. But the value in traveling that road is as Abraham Lincoln said, once you've truly made your enemy your friend you now have one less enemy. And that is a powerful way to work at achieving your goals.

-- Douglas Brent Smith

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Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

Your Reputation

More authority means higher levels of responsibility. More power requires more service to others, not less. What you do with your power is who you will be known as. Also, how you use the power you have creates who people will remember you as. How do you want to be remembered? -- doug smith

New Ideas

New ideas won't break you but they can make you bigger. -- doug smith

What You Need

Use what you've learned to become what you need. -- doug smith

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

For example

Get good at something that won't obsolete itself. For example: emotional intelligence creating great conversations encouraging people leadership What would you add to the list? Which ones are you developing? -- doug smith

Decide

What do you want? Are you getting what you want? Intention is direction. Decide. And, then go. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership Combination

We can rationalize anything without making it justified. Leaders should always ask: who is this good for other than me? High performance leadership does NOT mean performance at any cost. It means performance that serves a noble cause while also benefiting people. High performance leadership is a combination. Results without relationships are shallow and temporary. Take care of both, and you'll be a high performance leader. -- doug smith

The Problem With Compromises

Think about the last time you compromised on something. Whether it was a big compromise or a little compromise, how do you feel about it now? While we often call it "meet in the middle" it seldom does. Compromises are not automatically fair, no matter how implied that fairness is. Someone usually gets more out of a compromise than the person they are "compromising" with. If the low end is you, you don't like it -- and you remember that. If the top end of the compromise is you, you probably forget all about it even though the inequity simmers in the background. Compromises must be constantly revisited because they are inevitably unfair. If you get the chance to balance things out, your relationship will prosper. If you miss that chance, the relationship will suffer. What's your choice? -- doug smith

Start With Kindness

When you start with kindness you don't have to stay there, but you probably will. It works better for others. It works better for you. If you're human, you'll probably relapse. It does take practice to stay the course. The course starts by starting. When you start with kindness, it becomes more naturally the way. High performance leadership develops from the core leadership strengths of clarity, creativity, courage, and compassion. Build one of those strengths today thru some act of kindness and the others will get stronger as well. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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