Forgive And Keep Your Boundaries

Do you find it easy to forgive?

Some people forgive easily and some people don't. I was involved with someone once (well, OK, more than once) who could not seem to ever forgive. That's a hard place to be.

I am certain that we forgive in order to forgive ourselves. We let go of our anger (and any thoughts of revenge) for our own health -- as well as for the health of our relationships. Forgiveness is not just nice, not just compassionate -- it's necessary.

Still. That does not mean we can set ourselves up for more abuse. Forgiving does not need to change our boundaries. We let go our anger, but maintain our values.

Forgiveness sometimes requires persistent boundary watching. It's not permission to repeat the wrong.

Forgiveness is not a sign of softness. It's proof of the strength we have inside, the resilience we deserve, and the vigilant protection of our health that is simply part of living.

Is there someone in your life in need of forgiveness? Or, just as important, have you forgiven someone who is already testing you again?

-- Doug Smith

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Now Means Now

How do you feel when someone says that they will do something right away, and then they don't? When I say "now!" I mean immediately, and without over-thinking. never under estimate the temptation to overthink (I think I just did!) When is now? How about now? -- Doug smith Looking for leadership training? That's what I do: doug smith training

Personally

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith

Get Going!

What goal are you working on? Maybe you don't spend every minute of every day working on your goals. I certainly don't. But when I do work on my goals they propel me forward. They get me going. Find your favorite goal. Work on it. Even if you start with the smallest task. Put one task after the other like little steps leading to a lofty elevation. Goals get us going. Because standing still goes nowhere. -- Doug Smith

Life Never Stops Teaching

Which learning curve are you climbing? The lessons keep coming. When we keep growing, our energy sparks with new creativity, new courage, new compassion, and new clarity. When we keep growing, life's adventure brings more smiles than troubles. High performance leaders make it a point to keep learning. That means taking on the tough assignments. That means listening to the needs of your team and building on their ideas. That means constantly debriefing, decoding, and deciding. There's a lesson in all of this somewhere. Centered leaders find the lesson and grow. Life never stops teaching. What have you learned today? -- Doug Smith

More Than Convenience

This is probably get some disagreement. We've come to rely so much on one particular trait of business, probably even more than price. Convenience. We make so many decisions based on how EASY a transaction is. It's so much EASIER than ever before and we've all been spoiled by click-and-ship that anything with any friction whatsoever gets passed over. That's an understandable decision, but not always the best one. Convenience is great, but no substitute for quality. Hamburgers are convenient but wouldn't you rather eat a steak? (please excuse me my vegetarian and vegan friends.) Social media is convenient but how about the depth and richness of a long face to face conversation with a dear friend? I advocate that we consider other measures in our important decisions. Measures other than convenience: Quality Durability Care Beauty Drama What would you add to the list? Convenience is a poor measure of quality. Let's consider everything else that makes business -- a...

Promise and then Deliver

Be careful what you promise to gain a new customer. They are only new for a day. After that, expectations continue even if you forget your promise. Be careful what you promise. Do you have what you need to give your customers what they want? Because probably, what they want, is what you've promised. -- doug smith

Start With Decisions

Do you share leadership? The most powerful teams share leadership responsibilities AND attitude. When you develop a team where people feel empowered to take charge, take responsibility, and take ownership you then no longer need to do all the difficult work. Delegation becomes easier. Collaboration feels more natural. Start with decisions. It's fast and easy as a leader to make all of the big decisions, but when you include your team in the conversations it takes to gain mutually shared understandings and collaborative decisions, you no longer have to "sell" your decisions --- people simply know what you as a team have decided and act accordingly. No passive aggressive resistance, no passengers on your team "bus" -- just fully engaged team members. Start with collaborative decisions. The rest will be much easier. -- Doug Smith

Focus on Process

Fix the situation and let people be who they are. As much as you might want to change them, that's not your business. They are doing what they think is right, even if it is horribly wrong. Turn around the situation and watch them rotate, too. -- doug smith

Communicate!

A lack of communication is often interpreted as a lack of care. -- Doug Smith

Don't Jump!

I do it. You've probably done it, too. It gets us into trouble misinterpreting and reaching false conclusions. Slow down. Ease up from that jump. Stop that jump to conclusions and you'll avoid many big falls. -- doug smith

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