Forgive And Keep Your Boundaries

Do you find it easy to forgive?

Some people forgive easily and some people don't. I was involved with someone once (well, OK, more than once) who could not seem to ever forgive. That's a hard place to be.

I am certain that we forgive in order to forgive ourselves. We let go of our anger (and any thoughts of revenge) for our own health -- as well as for the health of our relationships. Forgiveness is not just nice, not just compassionate -- it's necessary.

Still. That does not mean we can set ourselves up for more abuse. Forgiving does not need to change our boundaries. We let go our anger, but maintain our values.

Forgiveness sometimes requires persistent boundary watching. It's not permission to repeat the wrong.

Forgiveness is not a sign of softness. It's proof of the strength we have inside, the resilience we deserve, and the vigilant protection of our health that is simply part of living.

Is there someone in your life in need of forgiveness? Or, just as important, have you forgiven someone who is already testing you again?

-- Doug Smith

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