Give Yourself Some Compassion

Are you hard on yourself?

When we are driving hard toward a goal, when we miss on a task, when we make mistakes, we can put more pressure on ourselves than anyone else. As leaders, we feel the pressure of the results and the need to please the people involved. It can become overwhelming.

We need compassion for others, absolutely. That is one of the five core strengths of leadership. We also need some of that compassion for ourselves.

We must have compassion for ourselves to show that compassion for others.

When we're angry with ourselves it's tough to be kind. Start by being kind to yourself. As we used to say when I was a kid, "cut yourself some slack".

You'll need that slack to help others.

What have you been pressing yourself about today? What if you eased up just a little? What if you thought a few loving thoughts for yourself?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Front Range Leadership: Training Supervisors for Success

doug smith training: how to achieve your goals

Comments

Let Them See You Work

If you can't seem to hire good performers with a solid work ethic, you might need to develop them. Maybe start by showing them what that looks like, or as John Maxwell has said "Know the way, show the way, and go the way." You know, walk the talk. I know a LOT of leaders who complain about work ethic. Maybe they need to let their people see them work... -- doug smith

Leadership Warning

If you visit the dark side, don't get stuck there. -- doug smith

Careful Expectations

Change agents don't always play by the rules. Expecting them to is the act of a fool. -- doug smith

The Benefits of Supervisory Training

When was the last time you had any leadership training? How often do the supervisors in your organization get training? If you are like most organizations, it's never enough. Some teams go without any supervisory training at all and expect supervisors and managers to learn as they go, on the job. Unfortunately, while it is memorable to learn from your mistakes, it comes at a high cost. People get tired. People leave. Important accounts go away. Customers complain. And teams struggle without the skills and knowledge it takes to build cohesive teams that are capable of solving problems, improving performance and achieving goals. Admittedly, I can be expected to support training since I'm in the business. Still, take a closer look at your own leadership career and decide for yourself. Are leaders better off with more training and development or with less? Supervisory training can generate benefits that pay off long after the training is over. Here are just a few of the things sup

Celebrate Progress

When was the last time that you were frustrated in trying to learn something? If you can't remember, maybe it's time to learn something new -- something tough and challenging. Truly worthwhile endeavors are often struggles. The satisfaction comes not only in the final result, but also in the progress toward that final result. The best way to avoid a sad let-down once a goal is achieved is to enjoy the journey all the way thru. Celebrate your progress! Not so much that you feel finished, but enough so that you feel able. Celebrate progress, and then keep on progressing. As that beat poet and philosopher Harry X. Tudas once said, "Feel in the groove but continue to improve." -- doug smith

Freedom and Responsibility

Freedom without responsibility produces more harm than good. Responsibility without freedom sparks certain revolution. High performance leaders don't FIND the balance, they CREATE the balance. Start by listening. -- doug smith

Start Positive

I went thru a grumpy period in my life. It was like a rut that was so deep no light could get in. It fed on its own bumpy grumpiness until that's all I could feel. Yuck. Forget that now. Now, I start with a positive thought. I could be wrong about finding the silver lining, but I've learned that I won't see the silver lining unless I look for it, and that's the place to start. Even the smallest positive effort has a positive impact. Let's start there. -- doug smith

Feedback Takes Practice

How good are you at providing feedback? If you're not sure, ask your team members. If you are good at it, they'll tell you. If you're not good at it, then maybe they will and maybe they won't. Feedback does not come easy. Skillful, useful feedback that improves both performance AND self-esteem is a delicate balance of recognizing positives and occasionally providing insights on areas of improvement -- all placed into the context of why it matters. Without the "why" -- why the feedback matters, why the improvement matters, why the performance matters, all the feedback you can muster will only fluster whoever you provide it to. Tell them what they did that was great, ask how they could make it even greater, and share with them why it all makes a difference. Because unless it really makes a difference who cares? Feedback, like any skill, takes practice. -- doug smith

Punishment and Fear

Have you ever been punished by your boss? Maybe it takes the subtle form of a vacation request that's denied. Or, maybe it's more obvious like a probationary period when some of your privileges are at stake. It could be an authorization level that gets lowered. It could be a stern warning that unless things change you'll be headed for the exit. There are lots of ways that bosses punish team members. How do you like it? Punishment and fear create short term compliance and long term rebellion. Maybe the side effects are immediate, like a passive aggressive destruction of an important document. Oops. Maybe the side effects happen way down the road, as people mysteriously leave the organization to find a less punishing environment. But the side effects are inevitable. What does punishment teach? Punishment teaches how to punish. Is that what you want? There are better ways to improve performance: - Coaching - Rewarding good performance - Acknowledging effort

Be Demanding, Not Demeaning

Are you a demanding leader? The good news is that people like to be challenged. They won't ever ask you for it, but they enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that is only obtained by tackling something tough. So you can be a demanding leader. As long as you are respectful as well. No one, absolutely no one, wants to work for a demeaning leader. Someone who insults your integrity or your character is no fun to be around -- and even worse, is not effective. As a motivator, demeanors diminish rather than build. No insults. No lost patience. No anger. Persistent, gentle prodding. Strong instructions and insistent follow-up, yes. Insults - no. Leaders can be demanding without being demeaning. Go for it. -- Doug Smith

High Performance Leadership

Search This Blog