Skip to main content

Give Yourself Some Compassion

Are you hard on yourself?

When we are driving hard toward a goal, when we miss on a task, when we make mistakes, we can put more pressure on ourselves than anyone else. As leaders, we feel the pressure of the results and the need to please the people involved. It can become overwhelming.

We need compassion for others, absolutely. That is one of the five core strengths of leadership. We also need some of that compassion for ourselves.

We must have compassion for ourselves to show that compassion for others.

When we're angry with ourselves it's tough to be kind. Start by being kind to yourself. As we used to say when I was a kid, "cut yourself some slack".

You'll need that slack to help others.

What have you been pressing yourself about today? What if you eased up just a little? What if you thought a few loving thoughts for yourself?

-- Douglas Brent Smith

Front Range Leadership: Training Supervisors for Success

doug smith training: how to achieve your goals


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Benefits of Supervisory Training

When was the last time you had any leadership training? How often do the supervisors in your organization get training? If you are like most organizations, it's never enough. Some teams go without any supervisory training at all and expect supervisors and managers to learn as they go, on the job. Unfortunately, while it is memorable to learn from your mistakes, it comes at a high cost. People get tired. People leave. Important accounts go away. Customers complain. And teams struggle without the skills and knowledge it takes to build cohesive teams that are capable of solving problems, improving performance and achieving goals. Admittedly, I can be expected to support training since I'm in the business. Still, take a closer look at your own leadership career and decide for yourself. Are leaders better off with more training and development or with less? Supervisory training can generate benefits that pay off long after the training is over. Here are just a few of the things sup...

Own Your Time

Do other people sometimes waste your time? I facilitate workshops on workflow and time management occasionally and there are usually people in the workshop who blame their circumstances on other people. "It's all their fault" may feel like it takes the responsibility off your shoulders, but does it help? No. Any time we choose to be a victim we get to stay there. Time. No one knows for sure how much we have, except that we all have only 24 hours at a time per day. No stretching. No expanding. Time doesn't care what we do with it. Time keeps moving. So why blame other people? Sure, other people make unreasonable requests. Other people use inefficient processes. Other people make mistakes and talk endlessly when we know we should be working. But think about it. Other people can only do that TO you if you let them. Take charge. Move along. Keep your focus. Other people can only wast your time if you let them. Why let them? -- Doug Smith

Work To Be Done

Many years ago when I was music director and touring with Child's Play Touring Theater we were putting together a show for children with a work-related theme. Children are often fascinated by jobs, by what their parents do, by what they see adults doing in the world. It was just one of hundreds of shows that we did, but I remember one song from that show that I wrote especially. The first verse was: there's a little bit of work to be done an American phenomenon there will always be a little bit of work to be done to be done, to be done, by everyone... I can't take credit for the lyrics because we used poems and stories written by children as the basis for our material. It was fun. And it reminds me today that what was true then is still true today. There's a little bit of work to be done. We have problems to solve. We have goals to achieve. High performance leaders are never finished. Even as I near retirement age (don't fret, my bills will keep ...

Feelings Count

Facts matter. We should pay attention to data. And, we should remember that data isn't the whole game. Data is a poor indicator of feelings.  Feelings matter. People will believe that they matter when leaders show them that their feelings matter. That's not always easy and it can even be counter-intuitive if you're an analytical sort like me, but it is necessary. Facts matter. Feelings matter. And, more often than we might care to admit, people decide based on how they feel. How do you feel about that? -- doug smith

Courage and Commitment

How are you at keeping your commitments? I don't need to convince you of the benefits of keeping promises, even (especially) promises to yourself.  One of those commitments could be to time and how you use it. Setting aside time for what is important. Knowing that in order to focus, you'll need focus time, and that means both scheduling it and protecting it. True commitment to time takes courage.  How do you feel about that? -- doug smith  

On Failure

Failing one test is study for the next. As adults, the learning never stops. We get to repeat the lesson until we LEARN the lesson. I've learned to take my lumps and keep learning. Keep getting better. Study harder, work harder, and fill the gaps. We all fail sometimes. Let the learning continue! -- doug smith

Bust That Barrier

What stands in the way of achieving your biggest goal? There's always something. It might seem bigger than it is, but it's there. It might be hiding in the field like a clever little rabbit ready to jump out and bite with the force of a wolf, but it's there. And, the very thought that it's there can sometimes keep us from going through that field. Sometimes our fears of the barrier are bigger than the barrier. Get past the barrier. Go around it. Go over it. Go right thru it if you can. Get past the hold, the clasp, the fence, the fear. Get past the barrier. Sometimes a barrier is simply testing how much you want to achieve your goal. You do want to achieve that goal, don't you? Get past the barrier. -- Douglas Brent Smith Are you developing leaders in your organization? Bring our two-day workshop for supervisors, managers and project managers,  Supervising for Success  to your location. Contact me here: doug@frontrangeleadership.com

Instant Coach

Would you like to be an instant coach? Ask someone about their goals. You'll be doing them a favor. Bonus points: listen without judging. Paraphrase. Ask more questions. Stay helpful, encouraging, and challenging. Above all, stay curious. Now you're coaching. -- doug smith 

High Performance Leaders and Emotions

Are you an emotional leader? I had a boss once who put his fist thru a wall. He got lucky. If he hits a stud, it's a broken hand, at least. But he hit pure dry wall and his fist went right thru. He was making a point. I don't remember what his point was, but it was obvious that he was angry. He was also out of control. Leaders can't afford to look out of control. Scare your team and they'll lose productivity faster than you can say "update the resume." I've lost my temper, too -- but never put my fist thru a wall (at work. I did once in college in the apartment where I lived, but that's another story. Oh, yes I did fix the hole.) Sure, leaders can have emotions. But if our emotions get out of control they get in our way. Our teams panic. Our customers walk. Our families cringe. I'm not advocating any kind of flat line robotics here. Enjoy your emotions. Cry. Laugh. Cuss if you need to. Enjoy the joy that's there in lif...