What If You're Not The Best?

Here's another guest entry from my good friend and fraternity brother David Spiegel. He's knows I'm a big Bruce Springsteen fan, so it won't surprise him that his fine email today caught my attention.

Oh yeah, and the message is a winner, too!

" A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be"

- Bruce Springsteen

I was asked "do you regret giving up on music?" The question momentarily caught me off guard. Regrets? Unlike in the song, I really don't know that I have any. I try to never live in the woulda coulda shoulda world that comes when I buy into regrets. When I snapped back to the question my answer was a resounding no, not at all. I shared with my friend my thoughts and feelings and then we moved on.

Since then I have revisited the question. Why didn't I regret it? I was a good musician. No I was a very good musician. I was accomplished,dynamic and one might even say passionate about it. What I wasn't was great.And no matter how much I practiced and how much I wanted it , I knew I had reached the limits of my talent level. Yes with effort I could have become better. How much better? I am not sure. I just knew that no matter how much work I would put in,"great" was not in me. I have been around great musicians. They all had that something that makes them special. I no longer felt that burning inside of me.

The same can be said about athletes. Great High School ball players who just never get past their Glory Days. You find them, the really good ones, kicking around minor league or semi- pro ball fields for years, hoping for a shot. At some point they too realize it's time to move on.

There was no disappointment in it for me. I knew I had done unbelievable things in my musical career. I also knew it was time for me to seek out great. Remaining a good, even a very good musician would have been settling for less. Excellence is what I craved. Phenomenal. Unbelievable. Untouchable. For me it was about the wow factor.It's the difference between oooh and aaahhh!

I know what good is. I feel what great is.

As I write this I must point out that there were times during my "glory days" that there was greatness in my music. There was greatness in my performance. That was in my fish pond. In the big blue sea, it would not be the same. And I just was not willing to settle for being good.

I've felt that way about everything I entertain in my life. The passion is rooted in great, not in good. When the best I can muster is good, and when good is good enough, it's time to move on.

I suppose that is why I am enjoying life so much lately. I have found that fire once again.The challenge to be great is growing inside of me daily. The desire to be great, to be the best, to be outstanding, to be unbelievable, untouchable, unparalleled, phenomenal.

I get giddy just thinking about being the best David I can be.! And all without any regrets.

Off to another awesome start of the day!

David Spiegel

PS from Doug -- While I greatly enjoyed this piece from Dave, I would like to point out that we can still enjoy being musicians without being the best at it. I've been playing music for my whole life and couldn't ever imagine stopping -- even though I'll never be the Boss, I can still play some of his songs and write some pretty good ones myself. There's joy in music unmatched anywhere else. And the joy in doing anything is in the doing and growing -- whether or not I'm the best at it.

Thanks, Dave!

Comments

One Kind of Choice

It is not always the answer, but surprisingly often it is: It's easier to hire a motivated worker than it is to motivate an unmotivated one. That's not the end of the story. It could be great hiring advice though. Whatever the technical skills are for people you are interviewing to hire, be sure to ask some questions about motivation that can't be answered with a yes or no. Questions like: When were you the most motivated in your life? What kinds of work motivate you? What's your approach to a work day when for one reason or another you don't feel very motivated? If you had been here for one week, what would we see that shows us how motivated you are? Start there, and follow-up with more questions. Give each candidate time to convince you whether or not they will bring motivation to your organization. You can teach people almost anything, but it's always easier if they are already motivated. -- doug smith

All Edge in Moderation

I once had a boss who, during my performance evaluation, told me that I was doing a good job as a leader but that I needed to develop more of an edge. I wasn't quite assertive enough. She was concerned that people might take advantage of me. I worked on my edge as a result. I sharpened it thru steady practice. I had an edge to end all edges. At the next evaluation, what do you think she suggested? "You need to dial that edge down a bit," she laughed. It's not either/or. Assertiveness is valuable and necessary. Aggression, not so much. You don't have to dull your edge -- just don't cut yourself with it. -- doug smith

Lead with Compassion

Does your team know that you care about them? How do they know? Is it from your flexibility? Is it from your discipline? Is it from the time that you take to talk with each and every one of them on a regular basis? Times are tough for many team members. They are wrestling with issues that we don't even know about, plus some issues that we DO know about. How leaders respond makes the difference between a functional team and a dysfunctional one. Go for the functional, fully moving forward team that delivers on performance. Build trust, build relationships, spend time getting to know your team and letting them get to know you. The payoff is immense. Lead with clarity, courage, compassion, and creativity. If you don't know where to start, start with compassion. Leading with compassion builds trust. And trust propels high performance teams to success. Go for that success. You can do it. You're the boss! -- doug smith

It's More Than Talk

Every conversation is an opportunity to make someone's life better. Take the chance. -- doug smith

Try Not Lying

High performance leaders communicate without lying. That's harder than it sounds. So hard, that hardly anyone ever does it. -- doug smith

Character Is In The Actions

Some days it's easier to preach than perform. Resist that temptation. Telling people what to do works for a little while, but eventually they are going to watch to see what YOU do. Character, no matter how it is presented verbally, is revealed in action. Kindness is shown by helping. Courage is demonstrated by standing down an evil force or intention. Creativity is demonstrated in the art created, not the art criticized. I've sometimes fallen into the temptation to preach. It comes easy. Opinions just roll off my tongue. But, I'm working on that. Preaching is easy. Performing takes work. Practice build character. Do the practice. -- doug smith

Something Other Than Games?

If you turn the system into a game people will game the system. Competition isn't the only way to achieve excellence. What if you could find a way that didn't also bring the side-effects? -- doug smith

What to Blame

It's better to blame the product than it is to blame the customer because you cannot fix the customer. -- doug smith

Show Integrity

The goals we seek bring a lot of pull to them. We get wrapped in them. It's useful and it's powerful when we care about our goals so much that they propel us forward and keep us working even when we're tired, beyond the boundaries of our usual limitations. But they should not take us beyond the boundaries of our usual values. They should not trick us into bending the rules just because the rules are in the way. Truly high performance leaders of character who are focused, and centered, and noble maintain integrity. No cheating is ever worth the outcome. Integrity is so rare that many people don't even recognize. If you do, be thankful. We need leaders like you. To truly understand integrity you've got to keep it. Even when it's hard. Even the lines are blurred. -- doug smith

Start With Kindness

When you start with kindness you don't have to stay there, but you probably will. It works better for others. It works better for you. If you're human, you'll probably relapse. It does take practice to stay the course. The course starts by starting. When you start with kindness, it becomes more naturally the way. High performance leadership develops from the core leadership strengths of clarity, creativity, courage, and compassion. Build one of those strengths today thru some act of kindness and the others will get stronger as well. -- doug smith

High Performance Leadership

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