Skip to main content

What If You're Not The Best?

Here's another guest entry from my good friend and fraternity brother David Spiegel. He's knows I'm a big Bruce Springsteen fan, so it won't surprise him that his fine email today caught my attention.

Oh yeah, and the message is a winner, too!

" A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be"
- Bruce Springsteen

I was asked "do you regret giving up on music?" The question momentarily caught me off guard. Regrets? Unlike in the song, I really don't know that I have any. I try to never live in the woulda coulda shoulda world that comes when I buy into regrets. When I snapped back to the question my answer was a resounding no, not at all. I shared with my friend my thoughts and feelings and then we moved on.

Since then I have revisited the question.  Why didn't I regret it? I was a good musician. No I was a very good musician. I was accomplished,dynamic and one might even say passionate about it. What I wasn't was great.And no matter how much I practiced and how much I wanted it , I knew I had reached the limits of my talent level. Yes with effort I could have become better. How much better? I am not sure. I just knew that no matter how much work I would put in,"great" was not in me. I have been around great musicians. They all had that something that makes them special. I no longer felt that burning inside of me.

The same can be said about athletes. Great High School ball players who just never get past their Glory Days. You find them, the really good ones, kicking around minor league or semi- pro ball fields for years, hoping for a shot. At some point they too realize it's time to move on.

There was no disappointment in it for me. I knew I had done unbelievable things in my musical career. I also knew it was time for me to seek out great. Remaining a good, even a very good musician would have been settling for less. Excellence is what I craved. Phenomenal. Unbelievable. Untouchable. For me it was about the wow factor.It's the difference between oooh and aaahhh!

I know what good is. I feel what great is.

As I write this I must point out that there were times during my "glory days" that there was greatness in my music. There was greatness in my performance. That was in my fish pond. In the big blue sea, it would not be the same. And I just was not willing to settle for being good.

I've felt that way about everything I entertain in my life. The passion is rooted in great, not in good. When the best I can muster is good, and when good is good enough, it's time to move on.

I suppose that is why I am enjoying life so much lately. I have found that fire once again.The challenge to be great is growing inside of me daily. The desire to be great, to be the best, to be outstanding, to be unbelievable, untouchable, unparalleled, phenomenal.

I get giddy just thinking about being the best David I can be.! And all without any regrets.

Off to another awesome start of the day!


David Spiegel

PS from Doug -- While I greatly enjoyed this piece from Dave, I would like to point out that we can still enjoy being musicians without being the best at it. I've been playing music for my whole life and couldn't ever imagine stopping -- even though I'll never be the Boss, I can still play some of his songs and write some pretty good ones myself. There's joy in music unmatched anywhere else. And the joy in doing anything is in the doing and growing -- whether or not I'm the best at it.

Thanks, Dave!


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Not Too Many Goals

How many goals should you have? Is there a limit? I've known people who said that they had a hundred goals. They were working their way thru the list and checking them off one by one. Good for them. I  could never do that. It's too many. How do you even keep that many straight? How do you build energy for them? Some people call a list like that a bucket-list. If that's what it is, it isn't so much a list of goals as plans for experience. That's very different. Goals require work. Goals require attention. Goals require a level of focus seldom afforded anything else. The discipline that takes limits the capacity anyone has for setting goals. We can only do so much. Of course, we aspire to do more. Of course we put lots of stretch into our goals and our list of goals. But, we can only do so many. I can't tell you what that number is. I find that 5 goals a day is a good number for me. Five achievable goals for each day and another 3 - 5 major goals that ca...

The Benefits of Supervisory Training

When was the last time you had any leadership training? How often do the supervisors in your organization get training? If you are like most organizations, it's never enough. Some teams go without any supervisory training at all and expect supervisors and managers to learn as they go, on the job. Unfortunately, while it is memorable to learn from your mistakes, it comes at a high cost. People get tired. People leave. Important accounts go away. Customers complain. And teams struggle without the skills and knowledge it takes to build cohesive teams that are capable of solving problems, improving performance and achieving goals. Admittedly, I can be expected to support training since I'm in the business. Still, take a closer look at your own leadership career and decide for yourself. Are leaders better off with more training and development or with less? Supervisory training can generate benefits that pay off long after the training is over. Here are just a few of the things sup...

Nobody Is Interested In Excuses

Imagine this - you've been expecting someone on your team to complete an important task. The deadline is looming. You're ready for the deliverable at any time, and then...and then they start the list of excuses why they can't complete the task. No fun, right? Not acceptable, true? True for you, and true for others who rely on you as well. Leading for success leaves little room for excuses. When I worked at Whole Foods one of my bosses once said, "we live in the land of no excuses." It was true there then, and it's true here now. Nobody is interested in any excuses. -- Doug Smith

Forget What You Know?

Does it ever make sense to forget what you know? What if what you know is certain and true? What if you simply believe it to be true, but beyond your knowledge it isn't true at all? Sometimes learning requires the suspension of what we think is true. We need to be able to entertain a contradiction or paradox long enough to find a new perspective. Maybe we will change our mind, maybe we won't, but we give it air time. We let it breathe. We expand our world of possibilities just long enough to see if we're missing something important. Creatives are constantly willing to forget what they think they know to learn something far more useful. Something far more magical. Something far more brilliant. And, possibly something far more true. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it does not and we are free to hold to what we already believe. But without trying, without the willingness to suspend judgement for long enough to see anew -- how will we ever know? -- Douglas Brent...

Stay With Compassion

Leaders need courage. They also need compassion. We can use our compassion to balance our courage, and use our courage to increase our compassion. Compassion is so vital we must never give up on it. No matter how angry we are, no matter how disappointed we feel, no matter how high the stakes -- stay with compassion. If it cannot be done with compassion, it should not be done. -- doug smith

Press Your Boundaries Forward

How tight are your boundaries? When I worked at GE an expression that was popular was "boundaries". We were boundaries in our search for solutions, in our work to satisfy customers, and in our pursuit of profit. Boundaries were permeable, not insurmountable. With one exception: integrity. That was one boundary that could not be stretched, could not be crossed, and could not be ignored. But for other boundaries much of the time our sense of what the boundary is depends on our perspective. How fixed it is depends on our creativity. How cold it is depends on our compassion. How formless it is depends on our clarity. And how limiting it is depends on our courage. We need to consider all four of these leadership strengths when we find ourselves held by boundaries. Without examining our boundaries and staying curious about why they are there or what function they serve we stay stuck. Stuck is not where we want to be. To get past stuck might take creativity, and it certainly...

Does Punishment Work to Motivate People?

Do you believe that people only respond to two basic motivations, punishment and reward? If that's the case, then punishment should be an effective motivator, right? People will do whatever they have to do to avoid punishment, right? Maybe. Fear certainly does effect behavior. A strong leader may create an atmosphere where people will do what they are expected to do to avoid punishment. Fear may prod some people into towing the line. They will do what they are told to do. But, they will likely do no more. Fear creates a lowest common denominator mentality. Of course we do not want to be punished so of course we will do whatever it takes to avoid that punishment. Sometimes, whatever it takes creates side-effects that leaders don't want, don't count on, and don't deal with effectively. It can spiral into an non-virtuous cycle of failure. No leader really wants that. Here's one of the biggest problems with leading by punishing: P eople find ways to get even with those ...

Are You That Kind of Leader?

How do you know what your people want? If you assume that they want what you want, you could be wrong. If you assume that they need what you need from a manager or supervisor, you could be missing something critically important. Different people respond to different styles. While certain aspects of leadership may be universally important -- for instance I think that all leaders do a better job when they develop their clarity, courage, creativity and compassion -- how you interact with each team member also matters, and how they look for you to interact may be different from person to person. Ask. Find out. Get to know your team members. See what they're looking for in a leader and then determine if that's what they really need. We sometimes need to manage one person at a time. -- Douglas Brent Smith http://frontrangeleadership.com

Move from "Me" to "We"

by David Spiegel "The secret to success is to know something nobody else does." -- Aristotle Here is another guest entry from my friend, David Spiegel. I especially like how he ties this together with one of John Maxwell's Words of The Day. As you read this, think about how you can move in the direction of turning what you do best from a "me" effort to a "we" movement. A s I was stretching this morning waiting for my trainer to finish up with his 7:30 clients, I had the opportunity to look around the gym. When I started working with Cris, the head trainer,he had appointments set pretty much back to back for himself.  There was another trainer who I saw occasionally. Today, there was Cris working with "the Killer Couple" (these two really work hard!). There were also 3 or 4 other trainers working with clients. Some individuals and some working with two clients at the same time.There was a buzz of activity as these tr...