How many times a day do you judge other people?
It might be more than you realize.
We judge people all the time: their clothes, their hair, their weight, their gait, their intentions, their pretensions - there's so much to judge we spend an inordinate amount of time doing it.
And for what? Does it help? Does it make them better performers? Does it make us better leaders?
I know, some people judge more than others. If you are the type of person who manages how much they evaluate and judge others well then good for you. My point is that we can all judge less.
The world doesn't depend our judging to keep spinning. Our judging doesn't create better quality. It's what we do to help that makes the meaningful changes. It's what we do, not what we judge, that helps us evolve.
Judgment is seldom rational. It's not based on realistic expectations or planned development, but rather more based on how we were raised, who were our friends in early childhood, what our teachers taught, and all kinds of life experiences that taught us that judging was part of living. And, maybe it is - but it can be a much smaller part. If we judged ourselves with the frequency and standards that we require of nearly everyone else we'd see how impossible those judgements are to please.
We seldom judge people by the same standards we want to be judged.
We want freedom to make mistakes. We want the flexibility to change our minds. We want to be able to try new things even if they don't work the first time. We want to express ourselves and feel appreciated, not judged.
What do you think? Couldn't we all be just a little less judging today?
I'll try if you will...
-- Doug Smith
Front Range Leadership: High Performance Leadership Training
doug smith training: how to achieve your goals
It might be more than you realize.
We judge people all the time: their clothes, their hair, their weight, their gait, their intentions, their pretensions - there's so much to judge we spend an inordinate amount of time doing it.
And for what? Does it help? Does it make them better performers? Does it make us better leaders?
I know, some people judge more than others. If you are the type of person who manages how much they evaluate and judge others well then good for you. My point is that we can all judge less.
The world doesn't depend our judging to keep spinning. Our judging doesn't create better quality. It's what we do to help that makes the meaningful changes. It's what we do, not what we judge, that helps us evolve.
Judgment is seldom rational. It's not based on realistic expectations or planned development, but rather more based on how we were raised, who were our friends in early childhood, what our teachers taught, and all kinds of life experiences that taught us that judging was part of living. And, maybe it is - but it can be a much smaller part. If we judged ourselves with the frequency and standards that we require of nearly everyone else we'd see how impossible those judgements are to please.
We seldom judge people by the same standards we want to be judged.
We want freedom to make mistakes. We want the flexibility to change our minds. We want to be able to try new things even if they don't work the first time. We want to express ourselves and feel appreciated, not judged.
What do you think? Couldn't we all be just a little less judging today?
I'll try if you will...
-- Doug Smith
Front Range Leadership: High Performance Leadership Training
doug smith training: how to achieve your goals
Judging others says more about us than it does about those we judge
ReplyDeleteExactly right. I had a college professor, Dr. Jay Desko, who first told me this and it had a profound effect on how I view feedback. Thanks for the reminder, Dave!
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